I’m very aware that I’m the only mom my kids will ever have. I want to do a good job of being the mom my kids need at all times – but especially during summer break when they have more downtime and no homework.
I want to take my kids to the park during summer vacation, and have all day Monopoly marathons, and explore the new bike trail that we’ve never seen the end of. I want to sit quietly with my 12-year-old daughter by the pool while her brother wears himself out splashing with his friends, and talk with her about how she might handle the ‘mean girls’ at school next year.
I want to listen – without my eyes glazing over – while my 9-year-old son tries yet again to explain to me the differences between Marvel and DC comic book heroes.
As with many of you, the summer is also our time for reunions with far-flung family. In our case, for my kids to spend a lot of time with their cousins who live out of the country and return to the USA for about 4 weeks each summer – we tend to transfer the whole family circus to a cabin we all share in the mountains, and all the working parents try to get work done on their laptops while 4 banshees whoop around us.
It’s a balancing act. There’s much we want to do with our kids, but so much we feel like we have to do at work.
Do not rely on wishful thinking that it will all work out. As much as possible, plan for what you will need to do in order to accomplish what you need to do. Strategically that means you may need to make some adjustments at the office if you work away from the home. However, that could create a misperception with your male colleagues.
In the survey for my book, For Women Only in the Workplace: What You Need to Know about How Men Think at Work, 80% of the men agreed they had a visceral fear that their working world might stop spinning if they and everyone around them weren’t being productive all the time.
When summer rolls around, they need to see that even if you’re making adjustments to your work schedule, you’re still ‘all-in’ and they can count on you to share the weight of the work-world.
Read this next: Summer… When Kids are Carefree and Working Mothers … Aren’t
Negotiating your schedule as a working mom
Interestingly, in many cases your bosses at work may be a big ally – but only if you plan ahead, and are strategic and intentional. After all, the summer is often time when work is interrupted because so many people have vacation time planned.
Who knows – maybe your boss is wondering how he’s going to pay salaries with less productivity coming in and would welcome the idea of you working a 2-day week for less pay, or doing half days for the summer. A lot of offices have also incorporated a summer schedule with great success.
There are so many different options, but the key is to brainstorm good solutions (i.e. a win-win for both you and your boss/company) based on a realistic assessment of what needs to happen.
As a boss myself, I really respect someone who comes to me and says “Summer will be complicated, and I think it is best for me to accept that I’ll do better for you if I’m not constantly trying to juggle this and that and be in the office inconsistent hours.
So here’s my solution: I’ll be fully present Monday through Wednesday, but I’d like to work from home Thursdays, and take Fridays off completely. Here’s how I’m going to get my work done on Thursdays, and here’s how my pay might be adjusted for my 4-day workweek…”
Make sure you look at your boss’s interests, not just your own. Show him or her a plan for how you are going to get your work done, while officially carving out more time for your home-life reality if you need it.
One of the things often hardest for working mothers is to assess with clear eyes just how much time they’ll actually need away from their kids to get their work done. During the summer months, even if you work from home, book the babysitter who can drive the kids to the park, or book the art day camp for those hours, rather than assuming you’ll be able to get the work done at home.
Your kids will be far more traumatized to have you there but not really there (‘Honey, I can’t play right now, I have to get this report out). But if you can do an honest assessment and use those hours productively, you’ll be able to get the work done and then be fully there for your kids once those hours are done.
How to manage being a working parent during the summer
If you’re a mom who works full time, part time or works outside the home, I know you have a special challenge during the summer months. There’s the pull to enjoy your kids while they’re at home and carefree without the stress of the school year and sports. But then there’s the work that still has to be done.
So we’ve talked about the importance of coming up with a strategic plan and win-win solutions for work that will permit more time at home with your kids, and still meet your deadlines and responsibilities. Once you nail down any adjustments to when and where you work, you’ve tackled part of the solution. But how do we balance kids and still get work done during these unique months?
I certainly don’t have all the answers, but after several years of thinking through the biblical framework on this, and navigating this summer after summer, I have some suggestions!
Summer Tips for Working Moms
1. Give yourself permission to realize that the summer is just going to be messy – and that’s okay.
Like dirty diapers and toddler tantrums, it’s part of the badge of honor of motherhood – and it’s all part of what you’ll look back on with fondness in twenty years!
2. Use technology to the fullest.
Yes, it feels weird (“Am I being a bad mom?”) when I take my laptop to the splash pad and write an article while my kids splash around. Or when I check my email while I’m sitting at the park watching the kids on the swings. But you know what? Sometimes, using those little interludes in the cracks of the day to respond quickly to something strategic can save hours of time later.
As long as you’re careful to not be constantly on your phone and not really “there” with your kids, I personally think smartphones are fantastic allies for the working mothers.
3. Accept that your ‘workday’ might be completely different in the summer.
For example: I love having time with my kids during the day, so I end up writing a lot at night, when the kids are in bed. Maybe for you, your husband is able to take the kids and go fishing on Saturday, while you get a long day of work in. Think creatively!
4. Remember why you’re doing it: so many more options for quality time with your kids this summer!
Whether you have younger kids or older kids, don’t let this time slip away. Be super-intentional about what you are doing with your kids – even if it’s unstructured playtime – so that you don’t let the days slip by. Create a summer bucket list, go out for ice cream, enjoy a few late nights together, take day trips and give them a true summer experience as much as you’re able.
And there’s nothing wrong with them having a super-intense Nintendo game for an hour of screen time while you catch up on a book, or a nap. But try not to be tempted to let the Nintendo be followed by the computer, by the book, by the solo game of legos, and soon the afternoon is almost done and you didn’t actually do much with your kids. Make all your intentionality with work count by being intentional in your time with your children.
5. Brainstorm!
Still having scheduling conflicts? Work within your unique job and home parameters to come up with viable solutions. Look into sports camps online, art camp at your local school or library, or even splitting child care time with a friend can be a huge help.
Need to make adjustments to your work schedule? Present those ideas to your boss or work leadership in a professional manner, showing them that it can create a ‘win/win’ for everyone.
6. Load up on creative ways to fill the time with your kids.
No matter how much free time you have, you can make this a summer to remember for your and your kids! There are countless ideas online for things to do together depending on your child’s age. But here are a few great ones to get you started:
10 (Almost) Free Summer Activities for Kids
Cool Summer School: 9 Simple Summer Learning Ideas
Summertime Bingo: Free Printable Game for Summer Play!
Moms, I know that you’re tired, and it can be hard work to try to balance it all. But if you’re reading this, that means you care about your kids and you care about your work, and that is a good thing.
Balancing being a working mom in the summer can be done. It’s about prioritizing, it’s about time management, it’s about smart working, and being creative with our time. It’s a choice. One that is tough, but the smiles on those little faces make it all worthwhile.
I’d love to hear your ideas. For those of you who do work during the summer, how do you juggle this delightful but unusual time of year?