Last Updated on March 20, 2018
I felt let down.
Four kids four and under, plenty of things going on, and we’re trying to step out of the ol’ boat in faith, selling our house. By owner. (As in, hey, would you three preschoolers mind keeping everything neat in case we need to show the house at a moment’s notice? …Yeah, I’m starting to think I’m nuts, too.) Anyway, a potential buyer fell through. Again.
You can probably gauge my flood of hormones (and my sinful nature) by my excessive disappointment. Bottom line: I was hoping God would make things a little easier on me. I feel overwhelmed with life right now on a semi-regular basis, and when this didn’t work out, I felt, well, a little suckered. Hopes up, hopes let down. I’d been longing for a demonstration that God sees me.
As I considered this on the way home from getting groceries, I’d been mentally reviewing an article I’d (ironically) just written on the perfection of God’s plans even in hard times, once again remembering its truths and God’s goodness. When I got out of the car, I asked my preschool-aged boys to help carry in groceries. They groaned.
I placed light sacks of bread or cereal in their hands to carry inside, and they complained about how “heeeeeavy!” they were, moaning all the way. I mentally rolled my eyes. If it were Dad-the-hero who asked you to carry a load of dirt, or if I’d placed a toy car in your hands, I’m guessing you wouldn’t have a big problem carrying that bag … Don’t you think I know how much you can carry?
Mentally, I stopped.
Yep, I conceded. A parent knows well what his child can carry. I was building my sons’ muscles, their servanthood, their perseverance. But I wasn’t overloading them. I was preparing them for greater tasks in the future. And I attempt to compassionately assign them “loads” which they may not understand. At least not yet.
He is the God who sees me. Sees us, as occasionally overwhelmed moms: “He gently leads those that have young” (Isaiah 40:11, NIV). And He knows, far better than I, how much I can carry.
Janel Breitenstein graduated summa cum laude from John Brown University and began her career with NavPress, where she worked on The Message Bible. After having four children she resumed her professional career (around her momlife) by serving as a writer for FamilyLife. Personal loans. In January of 2012 Janel and her husband, John, packed up their family of six and moved to Uganda to serve with Engineering Ministries International (eMi), an organization that focuses on poverty relief and development, providing structural design and construction management for Christian organizations in the third world. Join us as we all learn first hand, through Janel’s posts, what it’s like to go from suburban America, to answer God’s call in Africa!
I really appreciated this. What a great reminder as many of us are gearing up for another busy summer. Thanks!
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