Last Updated on February 15, 2024


Heather Hetchler knows that it’s hard not to take it personally when your stepchildren don’t embrace you the way you would like despite your best efforts to love them. She encourages stepmoms to meet stepkids where they are, and remember that they are struggling with their own pain. It’s also important that you find a way to get connected to other stepmoms–you’ll find you’re not alone in the challenges you face. And for more equipping and encouragement, join us in Washington, D.C., in October for Blended and Blessed, hosted by FamilyLife Blended.

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  1. carol Ehlinger says:

    I listened to you today on Family Life. I appreciated the ladies candor. I entered being a step mom as a 2 or 3. After years of stress I’m at a 50. Seriously. I am childless stepmom and I’ve heard from other stepmom’s once they had their own kids it made things so much easier. I had a miscarriage 4 months after marriage. Besides having issues with stepkids, I deal with constant rejection, both from Husband and SKIDS, but mostly from my husband. He is a Christian but he’s verbally abusive. I really can’t take it anymore. If I bring up an issue about the kids or us he goes into a defensive reaction. This morning I tried to tell him how I would like for him to speak to me, as though he would be speaking to a baby, to be gentle, kind, etc….his response was YOU need to listen louder. I dont’ feel supported from him. I get stuck mowing our lawn (which takes 5 hours to do as it’s several acres) I make the meals, do most of the house cleaning….big issues which after 10 years we still haven’t worked out. We’ve been to Weekend to remembers, Marriage intensives, counseling. I’m giving up. Its too hard and I can’t deal with it anymore. I often feel blamed and not included. I am excluded and the outsider. If I say that to my husband he turns it around and says that I isolate myself, that I’m the problem. It was brought up that the kids take the backseat. That is not true, I’m not even in the car.