Last Updated on March 21, 2018
Looking at the title of this article and choosing the word “great” is intentional.
What makes a movie great? It must have drama, action, adventure, highs, lows and love. Doesn’t this sound eerily similar to your relationship with your husband? A great marriage will have all of these qualities, and you share this marriage with one other—your husband.
I have never seen a perfect movie. There is always at least one thing I would have removed or added. I have also never seen a perfect marriage. But, seeing the great marriages of those who have gone before me, made me want one.
Great marriages are not free of struggle. Great marriages are not made of two conflict free, complacent people. Great marriages are made in the midst of drama, action, adventure, highs, lows, and love. These marriages have to learn in the midst of these adjectives to forgive, overlook, love in-spite-of, lift up, build up, and sometimes just shut up. A great marriage is made by keeping the best interests of your spouse as your personal priority.
A great husband is in a marriage where his wife has made it her number one priority to be to him what God has purposed for her to be—his helper. As his helper, you have so much more to offer your husband than just picking up his dirty socks. He needs someone who will follow him as he follows Christ, yet, be the one who will speak the truth, no matter how difficult, in love to him.
Ephesians 5:31 says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”
Our husbands stood at the altar, before a judge, or whatever you did on your wedding day to say, “I take you.” You said the same thing. Neither of you are perfect and will never be. But he should always be what the dictionary defines great to be: highly significant, wonderful, first-rate, and very good.
P.S. A great husband is always the companion of a great wife.
Excerpt from Robyn’s upcoming book, Say IT Loud!
Robyn McKelvy has devoted her life to the care and building up of others. In her home, through the church her husband pastors and through years of speaking at Weekend To Remember Get-Away’s around the country as well as countless women’s events. Robyn is the mom of seventeen children, seven in heaven and nine amazing souls here on earth who have received her full attention from the time they were born or grafted into her family. Robyn’s book SOS – Sick of Sex is in stores now as is her devotional book, Say IT Loud: Becoming your husband’s personal cheerleader. Robyn has been a mom for 24 years and married to Ray for over 25 years.
Robyn, It is a great article and I can’t wait to see your book released. You are wonderful and I could almost “hear” you speaking these truths! Thanks for sharing with us.
Christina
Hi Tracey and all you other contributing moms! Love your site. I’m passing on a little blogging award today to favorite blogs I follow. Check out the details at my blog. You don’t have to participate but I hope a few of my readers wander your way…
Great job on this article I Have A Great Husband! Such truth girl and I loved how you started off with comparing the relationship to movies. There is no perfect movie and of course there are things I would add, change, remove and or just accept… For a short article you placed a lot of depth in this article and meaning! Then when you ended with being a “good wife”….so true! After being seperated for a year now my heart aches for the movie to continue. Walking off the set does not stop the drama to end or the story to stay the same! It effects the whole purpose but I am thankful for a God who’s LOVE and PURPOSE is to be the leading role in each of our movies! He says, “the movie must go on….” He has been so faithful, gentle and held me during the intense pain! Pain of loosing a child, my husband leaving 30 days after, surendering my will, accepting medical crisis as part of my childrens lives, signing a DNR (do not resuscitate) for our precious Zoe knowing nothing else can be done w/ her heart and God loves her more then I could ever and little Zion is getting his feet amputated in a couple months! Only God could direct this movie and so as my first love (God) I allow Him to direct. I have seen my heart grow so much and yet seem so fragile! Though my husband is not present, I offer this as a gift to desire to know His love more each day so I can love well. I do love my soon to be ex-husband more today then I have ever loved him….not of my love but His. The pain of surrendering a spoce of 21 years is filled with so much pain. I am so thankful for people like you that encourages the reality of marraige…not perfect, a loving relationship w/ our director, acceptance. That pain is apart of growth and His redemption gives us life and grace! Girl, you encouraged me so much today. Women….love well as He has loved you! Don’t leave the set of a movie because you can’t direct it or change what He has brought together forever, till death do us part…sit back, love well, soak up His LOVE, laugh, and enjoy each scene! You are a example to me girl and keep on shareing your gifts. We must love well
Heather, With all that is going on in your life, I can only say that you are a beautiful example of someone walking closely with the Father and He is holding you! We stand in prayer and community with you. His grace is sufficient and so evident in your comments. The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace. (Numbers 6:24-26 Love, Robyn
Heather, thank you so much for sharing… I am encouraged by your realization that the “Director” is orchestrating your life and that you can follow Him! Continue to trust that our Lord can do all that pleases Him! And it pleases HIm that we fight for our marriages, seeing the movie to the end! God is the Redeemer– even of those things that are dead! He is able to do exceedingly, abundantly above all that we can ask or imagine! What can you imagine for your marriage!
A book? Of course…I know it will sell like hot cakes since people will just “sense” the wisdom oozing from it. I miss hanging out with your family on the dinner gathering nights. I so hope that my one day husband and I will have a marriage that emulates yours and Ray’s.
What a wonerful post!
As a young mom of four little ones five and under, I love finding moms who are ahead of me in the game and hearing their words of encouragement and their call to serve and love on their husbands and children. I have struggled with my role as a mom, despite God’s grace in giving us four kids. Yet through our children, I have seen such transformation and education in my own walk with Christ. Also I am just now seeing my “great” husband after seven years of marriage, God broke open the doors of his closed spirit and my husband accepted Jesus back into his life last year. Since this time, I have witnessed such a change in our family. Daily, God amazes me what he is doing through my dear husband. I proudly call him a “GREAT” husband as I am just now stepping into the waters of how marriage was intended. I praise Jesus.
Kristin,
The contributing moms at MomLife Today, praise Jesus with you!!!
Robyn,
I so enjoyed this aritcle! I never thought to compare a MOVIE with marriage BUT, it’s SO TRUE, there is no prefect move , nor MARRIAGE…..(and you know how much I LOVE movies). I accept them for what they have to offer and take the lesson they have to teach with joy and laughter and tears… WOW!
THANKS SO MUCH for your words of WISDOM. Reminding me to keep my (husband) marriage as a priority. You have such a GREAT way of speaking the TRUTH so clearly.
I appreciate you, MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW…..
I LOVE YOU FOREVER!
Gail