Last Updated on May 31, 2018

There are books written on the subject there are even amazing posts written on the subject of how to inspire your husband. 

And while all of these useful, informative words and suggestions are most helpful and appreciated – I also know it can leave us, as wives, feeling overwhelmed and like we are not doing enough.

I once heard a man say, “Every man is a 10 year old boy in a grown up man’s body.”

This is not a condescending remark towards men – I love men.  I am married to one, have a Daddy that’s one, have two brothers, a brother in law, several adult nephews and a son that’s quickly becoming one.  This is also not a sexist brand on women, being an encourager is what we all are called to do.

This is a reality check that what a man really wants is to be respected and encouraged in pretty much all that he does and attempts to do – it’s how he was innately made by God.  Period.

If, at times, you are not in the mood to respect and encourage – do it anyway.

That’s part of what we are called to do.  Lay down our lives for others doesn’t just mean jump in front of the bus and push him out of the way to save him from being windshield splatter.

From the time boys are young they seek encouragement constantly.  It’s always the little boys at the playground shouting, “Watch me, watch me!” Their desire to try harder and their ability to believe in themselves has a lot to do with the reaction they get from the watcher.  “That’s awesome, great job!” equals belief in oneself.

How easy it is for us to cheer on our little boys to help them believe in themselves and make it to that next level.  It should be that easy for us to cheer on our men too.  You should be your husband’s biggest, loudest, and most admiring watcher!

If he “hears” from you, even subtly, “Big deal, lousy job.” he will probably stop trying, or look elsewhere for inspiration.  On the days when I am cheering my husband on – he is a better man.  On the days when I am ignoring him, or nagging him he is not.

There’s no need to feel overwhelmed friends – just cheer him on, believe in him, and encourage him.  It really is true…behind every great man there’s a great woman – who believed in him and cheered him on.

What your husband really needs more than anything else is for you to choose to watch and encourage and it’s a lot easier to do that if you remember that your man is a ten year old boy inside a grown man’s body.

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  1. I love this, Tracey! Very true, and you make it sounds so simple!

  2. So true. 🙂 A friend’s son (about eight years old) walked up to the door of my workplace with his sister at about the same time I did and I said to him, “Wouldn’t you like to open the door for your sister?” He looked up at me, grinned, and did so (which made me feel immensely relieved because the moment the words were out of my mouth I wasn’t sure about the reaction I’d receive!). I proceeded to compliment and call him a gentleman, which only made his smile grow. 🙂

    Great post!

  3. Great article, tx for sharing and giving us as wives ideas on how to uplift our husbands:)

  4. Kayla Marye says:

    This is such a great post! I am quite encouraged to encourage. Realizing that my husband is a boy with ambitions and goals makes it easier to uplift him every day. I know that am continually encouraging our son but have a tendency to put down my husband. Seeing him as man with the spirit of a child makes me want to go and build his confidence right now! Thank you for the wonderful read =]

  5. When reading about the boys in the playground shouting “watch me, watch me”, I was thinking “uhm.. that’s more like my grownman husband on an almost daily basis..” Always asking if I would like to watch him do some pull-ups or some amateur acrobatic move inside our small home.. probably more to make me laugh, but also to impress. And I admit that I’ve been a failure at encouraging and purposely withold encouragement when I’m mad about something. Oh, and it’s hardest when he does something, even nice things FOR me, but not the way I’m used to or that way I expected. Ok, I just sound like a brat now.. and that’s just the surface. Thank you for the reminder! I’m going to start practicing today. *)

  6. I needed this. It was kind of a slap in the face… but it made me realize I need to try harder.