Last Updated on March 13, 2024

My list of excuses for not doing it was long. And it was impressive because all of my excuses had validity to them. The whole “wearing-feminine-nighties-to-bed-thing.” Sigh. After a long day of tantrums, dirty diapers, and spit-up, the idea of putting on something frilly was about as far out of my mind as could be.

We all know what “they” say about our hubbies’ need to see us as feminine and beautiful as when we were dating. But, seriously! Dating was light-years and full nights of sleep ago! The other day, I read an article with the most obvious title ever: “The Sexes View Sex Differently.”

I am sure that you have read many such articles, as have I. However, the take-away I got from it was that we could choose to appreciate and honor our husbands’ differences, as opposed to being annoyed by them. And in choosing that, we could just begin to remember those flirty, feminine ways we had when we were dating.

I’ve already been taking baby steps toward “the frilly.” Trying to do at least my hair and makeup every day. Switching out baggy cotton for silks and lace in the undergarment department. It was just the pajama hurdle.

You’re dying to know my excuses, yes?  Among others, they were:

#1: My skin gets really itchy when it touches the cold cotton sheets.

#2: If I wear frilly, he will obviously think _______ (and Lord knows I’m not!) .

#3: It’s freezing!

You know what? I started thinking about what I could do:

#1: Get flannel sheets. Ahhh, that feels good!

#2: Oh, well.

#3: I could wear the frilly over my yoga pants when I’m out of bed and slip them off when I’m getting in (I know, it doesn’t sound like a fashion trend — but it’s going in the right direction!).

My husband is not the demanding type, which is why I can get away with things like this. But do you know what happened the first night I slipped into bed with a pretty nightie on? He first asked why I was wearing it. I answered that it was because I knew that husbands liked their wives to wear pretty things to bed.

He said it was true and then mentioned my list of excuses. I said it didn’t matter anymore, and can you guess what my sweet husband did? He snuggled me up to him and said, “Oh, wow. That means I get to have my wife as I’ve always wished to have her!” (I was shocked — it really is a big deal then!) And contrary to my #2 concern, we just spent the whole night cuddled together … just like “in the old days.”

So, please don’t tell my guy, but I am planning to wear frillies to bed every night for the next month. I want to make a commitment I can keep. If things keep going like they are, I may never go back to those old sweat pants and t-shirts.

Do you want to join me? Come on — just a month, take the “Pretty Nightie Challenge” and wear the frilly. Face up to your excuses and replace them with ways you can bring out your femininity for your man. Try it and let me know what happens!!

Psst, pass this idea on to friends, I’d love for as many women (and their husbands) to be blessed by this as possible!

{Editor’s Note: As mentioned in the comments below … if you are a single lady, you can still take the pretty nightie challenge and look lovely just for yourself as you read a good book and/or make yourself comfy under the covers!}

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  1. I think we should include us single girls in this challenge too. Cultivating a sense of femininity in ourselves is important whether we have a husband or not. We need to do it for ourselves too. 🙂

    1. i think you are TOTALLY right!!! 🙂 you go!

  2. Anonymous says:

    Great idea, Liz! Love it! I had the idea to try to have one creative bedroom idea per month next year…might have to make sure that happens. 🙂

  3. This was so cute!!! I think I'm up for the challenge.

  4. glad you ladies enjoyed it!! 🙂 thanks for commenting

  5. acwilliams says:

    If I can find 'wear' that is comfortable (not itchy) and…well…accommodating, I guess I'm in…but I know I'll be in for it! It'll end up on the floor a couple of times 🙂

    1. that's funny! and, yes–i completely relate to the "not itchy" thing… my skin is super sensitive too! 🙁

  6. Seriously, I love this! It's just so true and I understand exactly how you feel. I can "try" the challenge.. but with a newborn coming in less than 3 weeks, a one year old and three year old…. LOL… I'm laughing just thinking about it. My husband isn't demanding either… but whenever I do wear something sexy to bed, he drools as if we just got married. Guess I should. LOL

    Love this post!

    1. awww… whew! you're brave to be thinking that way 3 weeks from birth!! 😉 cute.

  7. Anonymous says:

    I like the challenge and as I read it all my excuses were flooding my mind, which to me means it's probably a really good idea! Thanks for sharing 🙂 God bless you

  8. After taking the pretty nighty challenge, try the sleep in the nude challenge. I’ve been married over 25 years and just thought everyone who is married sleeps in the nude. That was until I told the story to a group of Christian ladies at a retreat several years ago about how I accidentally locked myself in our garage one morning – naked – and had to kick the door down. The ladies where shocked that I was sleeping naked and kept interrupting my story with so many questions that it lost most of its humor. I had told this story before to many non-Christians and not one ever said, “Why were you naked? Do you always sleep naked? By naked do you mean underwear and t-shirt? etc.” That story had many of the ladies still asking me a year later if when I meant naked, did that mean no clothes, and did my husband sleep naked? Yes, and yes. “Don’t any of you sleep naked?” I asked the group of ladies at the next Ladies Retreat a year later when they were once again quizzing me about sleeping naked. Not one did, and there were newly weds to grandmas. I was so shocked I almost fell over. Do only non-Christians sleep naked? I wondered. So far, that’s what I have found. So I challenge you to try sleeping naked. (When the kidos come into the bedroom, just slip on a pretty nighty without even getting out of the covers.) Try sleeping naked. Your mate will love it. When asked at a Valentine church party, “What’s the last thing your wife does before climbing into bed?” my husband was the only man able to answer, “She takes off all her clothes.”

    1. So I'm not crazy! I think we should be sleeping naked too but I can't convince my prudish hubby – can you believe that? He was turned off by my desire to sleep naked! It totally wierds him out. I gave up.

    2. I am forced to sleep naked because my husband keeps it so warm in the house… And no, he doesnt do it on purpose so I’ll sleep naked 🙂

    3. the problem I see with totally naked/nude is emergencies and such …. would definitely require a pretty robe on the end of the bed …

  9. Thanks for this challenge! I have been overweight for years and so just dressed in fuddy duddy (and warm) PJs…or even t-shirts and leggings. But this year I have lost 44 lbs so far, so I can probably fit (or almost fit) into my nightgowns from my wedding days, which I have saved. So I don't even need to buy anything new…I'll just start wearing my wedding nightgowns…with our anniversary coming up on the 30th, this will be perfect! Thanks so much for this idea 😉 (oh and I've already started upgrading my lingerie as I have moved down to smaller sizes.)

  10. Andrea Sims- Holmes says:

    I'm all in!!! This sounds amazing!! My husband may faint from shock but it is so worth it! LOL!! Looks like I'm heading to JC Penney and/or Kohl's as soon as I get off work.

  11. Wow! this sounds fun….we used to sometimes sleep in the nude, and sometimes I'd wear something cute to bed, but with 5 kids, any of whom might come walking into our bedroom in the night for a drink, help w/pj's or whatever, that has fallen by the wayside. Now my poor husband is just excited to see a pretty bra!! Or a new hairdo….
    I also am losing a little extra weight, so what a great excuse to pick up something pretty when getting something new!

  12. Oh, this sounds like fun!! But before I do the challenge, I have some MAJOR shopping to do. We have a 5 year old and I can honestly say that the nighties that fit 5 years ago no longer do and that I haven't purchased anything since. But I'm sure the husband won't mind this splurge!! LOL

  13. tina marie says:

    I will take this challenge! My husband definitely would like that. Since I have also lost weight I think maybe it is time for a new sleep wardrobe instead of undies and a t shirt. Well here is to thirty days without excuses!!

  14. It's funny that I got this in my email today cause we just had a conversation about this thirty days. Ahhhh… But he does deserve it. He's truly amazing! I'm all in.

  15. I think I am going to try this challenge and write about every night.

  16. I"m definetely doing it! I need to even just for myself……I'm so bad that I tend to wear the shirt I wore during the day because I'm usually so tired at bedtime…… Can't wait and I know my husband will love it. Maybe it will help me feel less frumpy and old if I am wearing something pretty when I wake up in the morning…..

  17. I wish there were a male equivalent to this message. Sex isn't only important to husbands but so many messages seem to overlook this.

  18. I have thought a lot about this very idea. I had my third child in June, and became a stay at home mom. Besides STILL having the extra weight, I tend to wear HIS sweats all day unless I am going out. I know I have to be SUCH a turn on! I think its time to frill things up a bit! Thanks!!!

  19. Ok, I'll try the challenge. Sadly, I know that I'll have to go out and buy new things to follow this challenge. I only have a couple cute nighties that'll fit right now. We are trying not to spend much money lately, but my husband may allow this "frill" – ha ha. He has commented on me changing my nightgown things. I bought two new ones a few months ago, but they weren't what he had in mind (zebras & monkeys) – I was trying to save money … ha ha. As to the sleeping naked thing, … well, I suppose I haven't in a long time b/c of the kids, but since they are all over 5 now, and don't come into the bedroom often at night any longer, maybe that's not an excuse anymore either. I consider the challenge after the first one 🙂

  20. So. Am I just really shallow to want my husband to do the same for me. He has no problem being turned on no matter what I’m wearing. But I do think he would appreciate a pretty nightie. The thing is, so would I (you know what I mean). Why is all the effort to be sexy so one sided?

    1. The effort to be sexy is not one-sided! It's just that this is MomLife Today! This is a site for us moms!

  21. Pastor's Wife says:

    Love, Love this Article! I think too many of our ladies put our husbands on the back burner, making him feel like an after thought.
    I’m considering proposing this challenge to the ladies of the 3 churches we pastor.
    We sometimes need to be reminded to invest in our marriages to keep them strong….and enjoyable!
    Thanks much!

  22. Wow, ladies! You have blown me away with your responses and your love for your husbands! I would love to hear about some of your men’s reactions…. Fun, fun! And, yes. I think a lot of husbands would be thrilled at a “sleep naked for a month” challenge! haha… Maybe April’s challenge? 😉

    1. Pastor's Wife says:

      Thanks again, Liz. Going to propose this to our ladies next weekend after our State Ladies Conference The stipulation?
      You cannot tell your husband of the challenge, we’ll use code language (like little girls) when we discuss it with each other so that our men have no clue….AND ….you have to stick to the challenge EVEN IF you get in a fight with your husband that day ! =) We’ll post the results!!

  23. Totally taking this challenge with the ladies of our church in April!!! This will be our secret though. I don’t want the men to know what’s going on but will tell you of the changes we see. Got any great ideas of what to call our “Pretty Challenge” that we can check each other on without calling attention to it? We need a great code word.

  24. How cool! Yes, I think it is more fun with the guys don’t know “we’ve been put up to this”. Ha. Umm… hmm. As in a code word you can use in front of the hubbies without them knowing what it is? Maybe, “How did that new recipe turn out for you?” (wink, wink) Or, “Have you had time to exercise this week?” 😉 Or something general like that?

  25. I’ll try … don’t know about frilly and this will necessitate a trip to the store but cute and comfy not the t shirts and shorts …. I would also say ask your hubby what he likes, some guys find a t with no bra and shorty shorts very sexy

  26. It’s funny to have come across this article when I was just thinking this way for the past year! But then I get pregnant with baby #4 and had our baby boy last week. Though I’m feeling encouraged by reading this aricle and the comments, I think I’m going to give this challenge a try after my 6 week check up with my OB. Even my girls said my jammies need to go 🙁 so I guess this is perfect timing! LOL

  27. Great post! Good reminder that our marriages NEED us to nurture them in the little things. I’m gonna work towards this as well, though I get lots of cheater nights since my husband is gone for days at a time. Then I can pull out the ratty t shirts and yoga pants. Ha! Another fun idea I do every Christmas is to run a string of white lights around our iron head board. Then on Christmas Eve I pull out a stocking I bought him years ago and place it on his pillow with a new piece of lingerie in it. 🙂

  28. April Grant says:

    I mentioned buying a nighty to my husband when we were in the department store as we were walking by the nightys. He said “I dont like nightys” I asked why and he said “I just don’t”. That was six years ago. I still want one.

    1. Hmmm… That’s a new one! Did you ask him what he DOES like? Challenge yourself to that for 30 days! 🙂