Last Updated on July 16, 2024

I admit it — there are days when I just do not feel like being all “you are wonderful” to my husband. It could be because he is not being all “you are wonderful” enough to me, or I am not feeling as loved as I want to be. Maybe he’s wrapped up in something at work, or there are some issues with a kid that are pressing … blah, blah, blah. (Heavy sigh.)

Interestingly, as his wife, I am not supposed to relate to my husband based on my feelings.  Maybe being Radical and showing Crazy Love is supposed to happen right in my home every single day whether I feel like it or not. Reading great books like those can prompt one to think, “That’s it. We are moving to a remote part of the world and serving other people!” And yes, that’s a good thing for those God calls to do that.

Until God does call you to do that, I vote you start right now showing some Radical Crazy Love to those near you. If you’re married, start with your husband, regardless of what he is doing (or not doing) for you.

What does that look like? Well, you know what makes your husband feel love and respected more than anyone else, but to get you started I suggest the following.

How to show your spouse radical love

1. Encourage him with your words and tell him you believe in him and appreciate him.

2.  Surprise him with his favorite dessert “just because” and serve it on your fine china!

3. Set aside some extra time before bed to ask him about his day, and allow him to process something with you while you give him your full attention.

4. Give him a special gift around an interest of his that will show you took time to think about and choose something just for him.

5. Allow him a special time of relaxation by giving him a nice, long back massage.

 Looking for even more great ideas? Be sure to check out 62 Things to Say to Make Your Husband Feel Great and 53 Easy Ways to Inspire Your Husband.

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  1. such true words! how can we show radical love to the world without first doing it in our homes? Thanks for the reminder to love my husband reguardless of how i feel (which is mostly just plain tired with 2 babies and a toddler).

    Love Love Love this momlife site! I read it every morning as my devotional and it really gives me the encouragement and perspective i need to face the day. yall rock!

    1. Happy to know as you chase those little ones of yours around and love your husband you are doing with some Radical Crazy Love! I am very blessed to know you start your day with us – I just lifted up a prayer for you and your family! Bug Hug and many blessings to you – Tracey

  2. I love, love, love this post!!

    1. Thanks Suzanne – happy to know it blessed you!

  3. Hi Tracey! This is such a challenging post. I might be thinking about this one all day. Thanks for this 🙂

    1. Hey Rachel…being challenged is a good thing…my own post challenged me!! Trusting your hubby is feeling well loved these days! Blessings to you – Tracey

  4. Hahahaha…God can be so funny. Just last night I had a conversation with my husband about how grumpy he has been recently. This morning I noticed him kicking something in the yard and I noticed his mood has not improved after the talk. All of the sudden the attitude came up. I am just not going to talk to him. Then my heart said "wonder what is up?" I answered "I don't care what is going on. I don't want to deal with this." My heart says "The best thing to pull him out of the mood is probably your kindness and really trying to help." Then I read this. ok ok already. 😉

    1. So…God threw a brick upside your head …that's a familiar occurrence for me too! Happy to hear my conviction to love my husband, even when I don't "feel" like it rung true with you too! Get after those five suggestions girl friend! Blessings to you, Tracey

  5. oh my, this is me ALL the time. It makes me feel terrible but… (insert excuse here). Will for sure be praying for God to give me the strength to throw out all the other "stuff" and live to radically love my husband and my children. Thanks, Tracey!

    1. Funny how hearing it in our heads we can sometimes push down, but hearing it from each other and the not feeling "all alone" helps us to snap out of it and act on doing things Gods way! Your note to me (and the rest above) serve as a REAL encouragement to me as well! Blessings to you, Tracey

  6. I guess I'm not doing this God's way. He doesn't like dessert, doesn't notice that I bite my tongue when he snaps about not muting the music on a kids' TV show, dislikes the way I put away his laundry… and don't ask how many times I've offered a "back massage" and have been turned down. But I know Christ loved me in spite of suffering, in spite of scorning, in spite of cluelessness. I need to love him life THAT. I could use prayer.

    1. Oh Callie! I feel for you. My husband and I have similar issues, and it is painful when you want to show love to someone who is not very interested in receiving it (or giving it). Keep at it though and keep laying your hurts before the Lord and He will be faithful to heal your heart. Remember Gal 6:9 "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." I am praying for you right now.

      Love, Rachel

    2. Callie…I did just pray for you, your husband and your children. I see a dear sister Rachel has also done the same. May the Lord fill you with His peace and love as you love your family. Does your husband like to read at all? Or listen to messages? Dennis Rainey's latest book Stepping Up would be helpful, or the radio broadcast about it. This fall there is a GREAT movie called Courageous coming out…you and he need to go see that together…I think it will speak to him in a way could receive it. Big Hug and Blessings, Tracey

    3. Oh Callie,will def be praying for u! Was thinking of my own plight w/my hubby til I got to urs and realized that it would be much harder w/ur hubbys attitude than my own. Thx for opening up & sharing