I’ve been struggling lately with this debilitating feeling that I’m doing it all wrong with this whole motherhood thing.  I can’t seem to get a schedule in place, I’m grouchy in the mornings, I occasionally yell at my kids when my patience has worn thin, and I just can’t keep up with all the other super-moms around me (or on social media, for that matter).

There are many days lately when I have felt like a failure of a mom.  Days when I can’t even enjoy my children because I’m too wrapped up with all the things I’m doing wrong.

Through the counsel of others, I’ve learned a very important truth.

The love I have for my children is enough.

I don’t need to wear myself out trying to juggle a million balls in the air, all in the name of being a “good mom”.

There is no such thing as a perfect mother.  Even if I’ve mastered all the discipline techniques, created a seamless schedule for myself and the children, and spent 4 consecutive hours on the floor playing with my kids…I’m still human, which means I am, and always will be, imperfect.  My imperfections will find a way to weasel their way into my day, whether I like it or not.

So, what’s a mom to do?

  • Accept the fact that we will never be perfect.  Nor will our children, our husband, or our house.
  • Ask God to give us the grace we need to be an example of love to our children.
  • Stop comparing ourselves and competing with other moms.
  • Learn to apologize to our children with humility when we make mistakes, and we will make mistakes, all. the. time.

You want to know my definition of a “good mom” these days?

A good mom is someone who loves her kids fiercely and without abandon, as God first loved us.  

That’s it.

No highfalutin birthday parties or intricate snacks for school.

No perfect schedule or discipline technique.

No beautifully-dressed and perfectly-behaved children who say “yes, Ma’am” whenever someone asks them a question.

No exquisitely decorated nursery or fancy dinners on the table at 5:30 every night.

A good mom isn’t someone who never loses her cool, but someone who loves her children enough to show them how to gracefully handle it when she does.

To be quite honest, there are a million ways that I stink at being a mother.

But there is one way that tells me I’m a great one:  I love my kids with everything inside of me.

And I’m choosing to believe that my love is enough.

[verse reference=”1 Peter 4:8″]Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.[/verse]


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  1. Pingback: Our Love is Enough
  2. Very nicely said, Jenae!

    1. Thank you so much, Laura! You are an inspiration to me! 🙂

  3. Hi Jenae,

    I really like your post. It’s so true.

    Sometimes I wish that I could spend more time with Timmy, doing science experiments, arts and crafts, physical exercise, learning things together…

    I just feel guilty for not spending enough time with Timmy…letting him play games nearly all day long…
    Have you ever felt that way? Feeling that you are not a good Mom? Inadequate as a mother? Doing not as good as other mothers? I felt that way.

    And apparently, there are mothers out there, who feel just the same as I do.
    Hey, I’m not all alone! ;)) Thank you so much.

    Well, let’s make this week a screen free week and spend more time with our little ones…
    Because today will NEVER be repeated again…


  4. THANK YOU FOR POSTING THIS. I am going to share this post on facebook….awesome.

  5. Jennifer W says:

    I love following your blog, and I loved this entry. It was beautifully written and made my heart swell as I thought about how much I love my own son. Thank you! You truly are an inspiration, even on days that you may not feel like one.

  6. Thanks Jenae! I love your definition of a good mom. We just can’t hear that message enough. Let’s all celebrate and share being perfectly imperfect…the highs, the lows, and all those mediums.

  7. just what I needed to read/hear today!! shared this on my blog too!!

  8. Veronica Ramirez says:

    Just what I needed! Thank you so much, I struggle with this and have been putting unnecessary pressure on myself to be a “better mom” but you are right my love is enough.

  9. Thank you for this! I feel like I have been beating my head against a wall lately trying to do “everything”. I realized my priorities were out of wack; that and we women are really bad about comparing ourselves to the next mom who seems like she has everything pulled together but is probably struggling with all the same problems we are (and possibly more). This week after having a serious “come to Jesus” moment, I feel like I can breathe.

  10. Great job! My favorite part: ” A good mom isn’t someone who never loses her cool, but someone who loves her children enough to show them how to gracefully handle it when she does.”