Last Updated on May 30, 2024
Father’s Day brings joy for many as they package gifts of appreciation, make stacks of pancakes or plan a day of fun together as a family. For others it brings melancholy for reasons far too varied for me to list.
For me as a single mom, I do have my own melancholy of varying degrees…and oddly one of the most difficult things about Father’s Day is purchasing the card.
It is agonizing standing there looking at all the, “Dad! You’re the greatest!” cards, knowing that they simply don’t apply.
My children don’t choose them. That makes me sad and angry. I want my children’s dad to be their hero.
Single moms and Father’s Day
For me, I will be the parent celebrating Father’s Day with my children. At first, I thought it was weird. Now I realize, oddly enough, it’s appropriate. I’ve been Mom and Dad for years now. So I am gonna put on my big girl pants (my most masculine) and take my kids on an adventure.
There’s gotta be a good word for me—a mom being Dad for Father’s Day. My first thought was to combine “mom” and “dad,” but that gave me mad. Appropriate, but not positive. Dom and Mod were just silly, and the other one was kind of bad so I won’t share it.
Forget cute wordplay. Just be me and figure out a fun and encouraging day.
What I want to communicate to my children about Father’s Day isn’t about their earthly father, but all about their heavenly Father. I’ve tried to encourage my children to honor their dad—we’ve been diligent in that regard. It’s not easy to keep from speaking unkind words, but we are trusting in God’s strength to persevere in this and many other things.
Thankfully, our heavenly Father very much deserves honor and respect. These past few years, I’ve found my faith strengthened even while I’ve struggled with the sinfulness of my heart and mind. God continually reveals His faithfulness as my own faithlessness is ever before me.
Recently, I had someone share their frustration with some doctrinal issues. At first, I thought, “Change the subject fast!” Then I realized that God had prepared me for this. So I shared that I’ve learned it isn’t about what I know apart from knowing God.
I don’t need to understand or be able to explain the book of Revelation, Reformed or Armenian theology, or the sinful behavior of another person.
I do need to know my Father’s character, my Savior’s love, and my Holy Spirit’s strengthening.
When I know my heavenly Father, I know I can trust Him with all the difficulties, questions, and unknowns.
A Father’s Day Reminder
So this Father’s Day, I’m going to remind my children who their heavenly Father is. I’m going to share who I know Him to be—His love, His faithfulness, His character. I’m going to tell them about this Father who will never leave them nor forsake them, who has chosen them as His precious children, and who will love them unconditionally.
I read this wonderful passage by Charles Spurgeon recently.
“There is love, immortal and unchanging love, in heaven toward you, which will never grow cold. You will be helped. God would sooner cease to be than cease to be faithful. Be of good courage, for today He will strengthen your heart.”
Charles Spurgeon
This Father’s Day, I pray that we all remember that the “coolest dad in the world” is truly our heavenly Father. I wish there was a “God—Best Dad Ever” card big enough for all of us to sign!
Darlin' u go on that adventure and having. an amazing time. I know where you're coming from. Fir 5 years my friends and family would wish me a happy father's day. At first, because the teens were little I bought the cards too, then I stopped when my then 6 year old "mama this card should be for u". After that we enjoyed fathers day together. Its a hard job being mom and dad and u should be very proud of yourself. When your kids are old enough to understand they'll. Be proud of u too!
Vanita,
Jesus gave me a big ole hug through your note. Thank you so much. You encouraged me so much. I’m looking forward to how God is going to use the day to bless us! I know He will! He has this great way of sometimes turning the difficulties into delights!
Sue
I love this! Thanks for sharing your heart 🙂
Shannon – I’m so glad you liked it! Thank you! Sue
Dear sweet Sue,
This is one of the best things I've read in a LONG time. Beautifully done, amazing friend!
Thank you so very much! You are wayyyyy toooo kind to me! But I really appreciate it!
Another single mom here with kids who can't say, "Dad! You're the greatest!" I needed this today, the reminder that HE is the greatest!
So thankful you were encouraged! He is good ALL the time!!!
Enjoyed knowing I am not alone in my sadness for my children. Luckily a friend found me in the bathroom crying while the dad' s were being.g prayed for during.g service today. I still pray for my chores father who rarely sees our children. Plus prayed for forgiving my self for not seeing the issues before I married their father. Prayed for a mentor to come into.my children's life. Prayed for forgiveness for doubting God's love for me and my feelings like I am not feeling joy over this alone time with my children.
Dear One – I have so been the woman weeping in the bathroom stall too. I am so very sorry for your sorrow and pain. I am so thankful that God brought a friend – how He loves us to give us precious sisters in Christ who will pray with us! (even in the ladies’ room!) Praying for you.
I was thinking yesterday about how much we make holidays (as well as most other days) all about ourselves! I realized Father's Day should be a great celebration of our Heavenly Father, and not about me! What a great reminder of how much our Father loves us and promises to take care of us. He is the ultimate example for me to follow.
Amen to that! It’s all about Jesus! Oh that I lived that way!
Sue, I had written my own single mom Father's Day blog, and I had forgotten that one of the things I incorporated into Father's Day while my now-grown children's father was missing was the celebration of our Heavenly Father. Thank you for reminding me of that!
Brenda,
Thank you – I am excited to start a new tradition that I should have had all along!
SUCH A SWEET DAUGHTER AND LOVELY MOTHER…..HER DAYS ARE BUSY, BUT HAPPY…AND LORD LOVES HER AND THE CHILDREN. HER MOM AND DAD ARE PROUD OF HER AND I DO FEEL SHE'S A VERY INTELLIGENT AND THOUGHTFUL LADY!!!!!
WITH LOVE TO HER AND HER FAMILY,
LOIS GRIESENAUER
I just discovered this post, and I wanted to say thank you. Thank you for reminding me of how awesome my heavenly Father is. My dad passed away almost 12 years ago, when I was 7. Fathers Day is always really hard for me, but I’m going to start celebrating my awesome God and Father. So thank you! <3
Sue, I loved this! I’ve learned a lot in recent years about choosing my heavenly father’s love and relationship over my earthly one.. Just the words “Happy heavenly father’s day!” makes my heart smile. He is a good and gracious God and a very real father to me. I’ll sign that card! Julie :). We met at MomLife bootcamp last year! Love your heart Sue!
Thank you for the reminder of our Father’s perfect love. It is good to remember and reflect on His grace overcoming our failures. My son’s best friend has a single dad – he has to be “mom” on Mother’s Day, and my heart breaks that this boy rarely sees his mother or has a positive, healthy “motherly” influence – except from his grandmother, who shows him God’s love is enough. Every single human being – including very good parents – will disappoint & fail & sin against their families – but God will never fail us. He is more than enough. Our Abba Who cleanses our hearts and restores our souls. 🙂