Last Updated on March 20, 2018
Yesterday while getting ready for church, my daughter dropped one of THOSE questions. “How do you keep from getting pregnant? Is that why people get divorced?” I looked in the mirror at her reflection, and my mind spun backward in time to when she was five. Our family was driving along when she asked, “When will I get those fings?”
“What things?” I asked.
“You know, those fings,” she said.
“No, I don’t,” I said. “What things?”
“Those fings … the ones under your shirt?”
Hubby nearly drove into a ditch at this point, but I kept my cool. “You mean breasts?”
“Yes, those fings. When do I get some?” she asked.
“When you are older, much older,” I replied.
Well, guess how fast time has flown? I mourn for the simple days of her youth, at least in some ways. When she asked me about babies and pregnancy, I prayed about how to answer her, especially when hubby stuck his head in the room and told us it was time to leave for church. A myriad of emotions washed over me. First, I was saddened that she would think divorce had something to do with pregnancy prevention. Divorce wasn’t common when I was a kid, but in her world it is. Second, I knew I didn’t have time to answer. Third, I mourned the passing of her youthful innocence. Fourth, I marveled at how natural the questions came to her. She wasn’t embarrassed at all.
Her easy questioning clued me into some important facts. My attitude toward sex would and will shape hers. If I act as though it is something about which to be ashamed, it will mold her feelings. If I act as though she cannot come to me with questions, it will hamper our relationship.
So, that being said, it is time to face the music and THE TALK. We’ve already had the talk about the tooth fairy. She had started asking interesting questions about Santa, so I knew the sex subject was coming soon. There are some wonderful resources out there, including Passport2 Purity. I will set a date. I will have THE TALK. And she will continue to grow into a beautiful young woman.
Sniffle…
Jennifer Dyer has an M.S. in Communications Disorders, which served her well in her professional career as a speech-language pathologist. Never did she imagine that her education and career were God’s way of preparing her to be a mom to her own daughter with autism. Today, she enjoys reaching out to other families who face similar diagnoses. As a cancer survivor, carpet-cleaning veteran, and originator of the “Messy House Ministry,” Jennifer feels blessed to share joy, peace, and humor with others facing life’s challenges. She is mom to two beautiful daughters and is thankful to be raising them, serving other families with unique needs, and using her gift of writing and speaking to minister to others. Jennifer is also the author of a youth fiction book series and is trusting God with His timing on publication. Jennifer has been a mom for 11 years. She and Brandon have been married for 13 years.
The thing we forget is that we moms are teaching all the time. Our children are watching every move, listening to every word, monitoring every smile or sneer–especially when we think they're paying no attention.
They notice what we admire, the TV shows we watch, the offhand remark about a handsome actor and all the rest. Sometimes what they see and hear the rest of the time contradicts what we say when we're ready for THE TALK.
Somehow they pay more attention to the former than the latter, because they assume that's what we really believe. (Sigh.) That's another reason why being a mom keeps us growing. For life.