Someone to Look Up To: How to Find a Mother Mentor

I’ve been given advice by many people, but the best advice I have ever gotten was from my husband early in our marriage:

“Honey, you need to find someone who can speak into your life.”

I would say the same to all of you: Find someone who can speak into your life.

We can go through life as a friend, a wife, and a mom, and more than likely do fairly well. But the advantage to having a mentor is being able to learn from others’ mistakes and glean from their wisdom.

Over the years, I’ve found women in my life who I can go to and ask questions about being a mom, a wife, and a follower of Christ.

We can all stand to learn and grow, every one of us. These women have encouraged me, challenged me, cried with me, laughed with me, and most of loved me for me.

The easy thing to do in life is to live in isolation rather than community. To stay just the way we are instead of allowing ourselves to be stretched.

Why is this so easy? Well, honestly because it hurts when we are challenged and told we are not the perfect mom, wife, or friend.

Let me clarify by saying that having a mentor does not mean you are being told constantly where you can change. It’s also having someone to tell you where you are doing it right!

How to find a mother mentor

Some of you may be asking how you go about finding someone to mentor you. Here are a few suggestions:

Be sure it is someone you feel comfortable with and can trust.
Find a woman you respect and admire. More than likely it is a woman you already know: a boss, an older woman in the church, a friend’s mother, etc.
Just ask. It’s rare for someone to admit her frailties and be willing to ask for wisdom from someone else. She will probably be flattered.
Finally, once you have asked, take your time and get to know each other and ask God to help you to be teachable. That might be the hardest part.

I have taken part in each of these four steps and I have been blessed because I recognized that I don’t know everything and I humbled myself enough to learn from others. Which was a lesson in itself.

Finding a mother mentor for your parenting journey isn’t always easy, but it can be so rewarding. For those of you who have a mentor, how did she come into your life?