I’ve been waiting for a new season for ages because this one has been way too long.
How would I describe this season? There have been so many blessings, but also a fair number of sleepless nights, long days, decision fatigue, and challenges, too numerous to name.
It’s like Spring – lots of beautiful things, but you can barely enjoy them because everything is covered with an inch of pollen, and you’re constantly sneezing.
For the past few months, our church has been studying Leviticus. Who knew Leviticus could be so relevant!
When we got to Chapter 26, where blessings for obedience and consequences for disobedience were discussed, I struggled a bit. Life has been so hard, and I started questioning whether I was being disciplined because of disobedience.
Had I done something terribly wrong, and God was allowing me to struggle because of it? It has felt like a day doesn’t go by without some drama.
I was in tears after our small group discussion because, although I do not believe this season is God’s punishment, it can sometimes feel that way.
Sometimes even listing off the wonderful blessings of life doesn’t stop the questions and hurt of the hard.
I realized, though, that sometimes blessings don’t feel like blessings.
I had to remind myself that discipline isn’t about punishment, it’s about training, growing, and learning so that I can mature and be more Christ-like.
Honestly, I’m kind of tired of all the training, growing, and learning. I’d like a break. I’d like to rest a bit. Take a deep breath that doesn’t involve a shudder.
I’m trying to figure out how to have a new season despite all the challenging circumstances, because I’m pretty sure I can’t change them.
Maybe there is something I can change… I’m pretty sure my attitude could be better. I can always find things that make me smile rather than the ones that make me sigh.
Years ago, I made a gratitude journal. It was life-changing for me. I’m not sure why I stopped, but I think that might be a good place to start again. This could be my season of gratitude. It will take a shift from being overwhelmed by my circumstances to being overwhelmed by Jesus’ love and all the beauty He puts in my life.
Here’s my start:
1. I have beautiful relationships with my children.
2. God has placed people in my life who love me well.
Sounds like just the new season I need.
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