How to Reconnect with Your Spouse as a New Parent

Last Updated on August 31, 2021

Remember the early days when you and your spouse first got married?

You couldn’t wait to spend time together when you woke up in the morning. You spent hours just talking and dreaming. You went out on dates whenever you felt like it!

And then you had kids.

Life became full of dirty diapers, sleepless nights, and wondering HOW you’re going to keep it all together.

If you’ve become a parent recently or have a new baby in the family, you quickly learn that life will never be the same. Unfortunately, that may mean things with your spouse will shift, too.

As a new parent, with all the daily responsibilities (and little joys) it may feel like romance has gone out the window. (I’ve been there – twice now.)

But there is hope! Being a new parent is a taxing season, but it’s just that, a season. And no matter how heavy, how difficult or frustrating things may be right now, it won’t always feel this way.

Here are a few ideas on how you can reconnect with your spouse as a new parent.

1. Do something FUN! 

Yes, fun. Do you remember it?

Let’s get cheesy for a minute and make it an acronym. Think of FUN as in F=For U=Us N=Now. For Us Now. So you and your spouse, have some fun right now! Plan it and do it. (ASAP)! Make it a priority. Have a friend or family member help out so you can go grab ice cream together. Pull out a favorite board game when the house is finally quiet at night. Pop some popcorn and have a movie night.

It doesn’t have to take much to prioritize a little time together. Even if you don’t have the energy, don’t put this off. Mark a weekly date night on the calendar and do something other than scrolling your phones together


2. Start the day with a hug and a kiss.

Physical touch and affection for your spouse are so important, even when you aren’t necessarily “feeling it.” At a time in life where you’re exhausted and sometimes wonder if you can make it, physical reconnection with your partner goes a long way.  If you have 30 seconds, you’ve got the time. Reconnecting physically is a great reminder for you and your spouse that you are in this together. You’re not alone.


3. Connect on a spiritual level.

Honestly, for most couples, this is one of the first things to go when you’re tired, overwhelmed, and BUSY. But I can’t think of a better time than the craziness of new parenthood to incorporate prayer in your relationship. Try taking a minute to pray over each other before you go to sleep at night. Headed to church? Make it a point to discuss the sermon on the way home? Read a verse together at the start of each day. These things might seem little, but connecting on a spiritual level will get you through a whole lot more than you might realize.


4. Celebrate your little family together!

Last but not least, you have a reason to celebrate! There’s no doubt this is a hard season, but there’s a lot of beauty in it too. Thank God for the gift of your kid(s). Be thankful for your spouse. Even in the tension of this season, forgive quickly. Ask God to show you the bright moments in the midst of the hard spots and trust that He will do it!

No matter how you might feel at this moment, you’re doing great! What are some other tips and tricks that you’ve found for reconnecting with your spouse in life’s crazy seasons?