dad-alone-waiting

My kids are learning Spanish in school so when we go to the Mexican supermarket, we always make our kids practice.  One day, we walked up to the meat counter.  Looking up, we saw the big electronic number which showed who was being served.  We looked for the machine and found it.  It read, “Take a number.”

I wonder if our husbands ever feel that way.

Forget having sex.  The kids have sapped all my energy.

Take a number. 

Can we reschedule our breakfast date?  Mary called me for coffee and you know she’s going through such a hard time.

Take a number. 

The women’s ministry team needs me to create centerpieces for the luncheon so I just don’t have time.

Take a number. 

Dear friends, if we want to have happy marriages, we’ve got to change up the priority system.  Don’t make your husband take a number.

When children come into the picture, all the affection and attention you once had for your husband is instantly transferred upon that adorable, helpless baby.  And as our baby grows up, we can forget to move that affection and attention back to our husbands.  Your spouse can blend into the furniture.  He’s an adult, a capable human being who can take care of himself.  But your children?  They need you.

But the truth is, your husband needs you too.  I remember one night when our kids were very young, James asked if I could get the kids to bed quickly because he wanted to give me a massage.  You would think I would jump at the chance, but after kissing the kids goodnight, I went to the kitchen.  I washed baby bottles, put dishes in the dishwasher, and packed up the diaper bag with what I needed for church the next day.

All this clanging around in the kitchen bothered James a lot.  Hadn’t he communicated he wanted me to bed early for my massage?  When I walked in the room, he looked tired.  “If you don’t want to give me a massage, that’s fine.  I took a long time in the kitchen,” I mumbled lamely.  He asked why I couldn’t just leave the dishes in the sink.  In the morning, he would have done them happily.  I had made the wrong choice.  I had prioritized my tasks over time with my husband.

Take a number.

Many times we moms run around doing all these things we think are urgent but we leave the important things undone.  It’s difficult for men to ask for the things they need.  They don’t want to beg for sex or respect.  These are legitimate needs for a man, just like a woman needs affection and caring.

So when your husband suggests a date night or romantic rendezvous, don’t brush him aside with an excuse.  The Apostle Paul writes these instructions for marriage.

[verse reference=”1 Corinthians 7:2b-4″]Each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband.  The husband should fulfill his martial duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.  The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband.  In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.[/verse]

We made a promise on our wedding day to have and to hold.  Embrace the opportunity to make your man a top priority in your life.  Don’t relegate your husband to number 101 on your long list of things to do.  He needs you.

You won’t ever be sorry when you move him up to priority status.