Have you ever thought of God as a father you’re constantly trying to “stay out of trouble” with? As if He were only an authoritarian ruler, watching, judging, and waiting for your mistakes?
If that’s your perspective, I want to challenge it—because we are not called to live in fear, but in love. We are His beloved.
Many people struggle with this view of God, shaped by their experiences with earthly fathers. Some fathers were absent, harsh, entitled, or apathetic—leaving wounds that made trusting and receiving love difficult. Others wrestled with their own failures, trauma, and brokenness, unable to model the steady love God offers.
But our Heavenly Father is different.
God doesn’t demand perfection before He calls us honored, good, and deeply loved. He made a way for us—through Jesus—to step into His grace, no matter where we stand. His presence is constant, His love unwavering, and His heart is for us, not against us.
Our attachment to God can transform the insecurities and trust issues shaped by earthly relationships. When fathers are unpredictable, controlling, or detached, children often wrestle with anxiety and disconnection.
But God is steady. He doesn’t change, abandon, or leave His love hanging on conditions. His banner over us is always love.
What do we do when our earthly father has failed, received mercy, and then failed us again? Justice demands accountability, yet mercy calls for forgiveness. It is in this tension that love proves itself most powerful—not as something that excuses wrongdoing but as something that redeems what was broken.
When a Father’s Love Falls Short
I’d like to share about a father I’ve known without revealing his identity, to honor him and respect his family. He was a man shaped by complexity, someone whose choices—many of them painful—left lasting ripples through the lives of his children.
His own pain manifested into layer upon layer of inconsistent and confusing parenting- adding disruption to the fragile balance of his home. For his children within the household, this reality carried weight. They struggled with concepts of loyalty, love, justice, and the deep ache of unmet expectations- both from him and for him.
How do you reconcile the father you knew to give grace because he knew grace with the one whose actions wounded you?
But the story did not end with failure.
These sons became fathers. Each carried their own scars, yet each chose redemption over resentment. They did not excuse their father’s shortcomings, nor did they ignore the impact of his choices—but they still chose to love beyond the disappointment.
They honored him, not because he was without fault, but because love sees past failure to the person beneath it. Parallel to the tortured soul, this man was kind, loving and full of life. The complexity of this leaves much unresolved in the in-between.
Because of this, these sons became men who refused to let brokenness define their own fatherhood but chose for the picture of the gospel to reveal itself in their stories by offering it to his. This was something he showed them to do as he wrestled with his own choices and shortcomings- acknowledging the pain he had caused.
This is the love of God—unyielding, unwavering, refusing to give up on those He calls His own.
God does not ignore justice, but He does meet it with mercy. He sees failures, yet He still chooses love. He welcomes the undeserving, He calls the fallen worthy, and He holds space for those who long to come home. One day, the weight of failure will be gone. No more sin, no more tears, no more loss—only love.
Some fathers have failed in ways that left deep scars and even today others are unleashing demons on their families due to unmet childhood needs or their own mental health struggles. This is where I strongly encourage you to work with a clinical licensed therapist in your area to work through your story.
Confidential, ethical therapy is a beautiful place to meet with someone who offers unconditional positive regard and will help you find a pathway of healing. Therapists are ethically bound to treat from your faith-based perspective and with your values in mind.
The Father Heart of God
Even if your relationship with your father is complex—whether filled with grace or shaped by boundaries—God’s love remains consistent. He is both righteous and gentle, authoritative yet merciful.
Unlike earthly fathers who struggle to fulfill expectations, God follows through on His mission to love and save us completely.
Society has shaped fatherhood through generations. Our grandfathers’ era valued patriarchal strength, often making fathers feel distant and duty-bound rather than emotionally present. Our fathers’ generation carried the scars of war, injustice, and trauma, influencing how they disciplined and showed affection.
But God is beyond time, beyond culture. He is not confined to the patterns of any generation. His word describes Him as multifaceted, compassionate, and steady—always leading with love.
Wherever you land in your personal journey of understanding God as Father, may you find grace in the process. Whether your earthly father modeled love well or fell short, God’s love is whole, unwavering, and enough. He does not turn away—He welcomes, He heals, and He restores.
May you have a truly blessed Father’s Day, Beloved. Be loved.
Verses to Read:
- Romans 5:8
- Psalm 68:5
- 1 John 3:1
- John 3:16
- Hebrews 13:8
- Lamentations 3:22-23