Last Updated on May 9, 2025
The shuffle of her house slippers. The sound of her laughter mingled with
tears as she laughed at some joke. The flick of her wrist when she spoke.
The chipped toenail that was caused by an injury so many years ago. Her
quiet, steady presence. All my life, she always seemed to be there. Until she
wasn’t.
I have a vantage point of two worlds. That of a child who has been a recipient of so much from my Mom and that of a mom of three children who is pouring into their lives.
My Mom went to be with the Lord two years ago. It feels like yesterday. As her daughter, it sometimes seemed that I could package or express my thoughts to her in a bouquet of flowers, a greeting card, some chocolate or whatever I was able to purchase. There was always this pressure to ‘just do something!’
Mother’s Day can seem like another gift holiday. Cards, flowers, scented candles, chocolate etc. Then, there’s the absurd gifts- personalized face aprons and stuffed fuzzy dumplings. There’s even a gift of nothing! Yes, an actual gift with nothing inside it, for those moms who say they do not want anything.
Since then, I have a different view of Mother’s Day. One of the most precious things to me is a text she sent me on Mother’s Day three years ago that simply stated,
‘Happy Mother’s Day. You are a good mother.’
There was no exchange of gifts. Just a simple affirmation.
As a daughter, I miss my Mom every day. We were close and yet, her passing has made her more present and real every day. I think of my Mom and ask myself what gift I would like to give her, if I had the chance to. It’s not another bouquet of flowers, or more stuff, but the gift of time and connection. Time to sit with her, laugh, talk, listen and just be in her presence.
As a Mom, my kids ask what I would like for Mother’s Day. I have let them know that a shared meal together, going for a bike ride or a walk is enough. Even a simple thank you is enough.
I don’t need unnecessary purchases, many which I probably won’t like or use. There is nothing wrong with gifts. There were seasons when I had more to give my Mom and seasons when I didn’t. There was never an expectation to do something and only appreciation and delight if I did anything. A purchase should never be a substitute for what really matters.
The Heart of Motherhood
As a Mom, I never want my kids to feel pressure to perform or do things because they have to. Buy the card, get the flowers, check the box. Whatever they do, I hope they are always grateful that we have each other.
As a daughter, I recall my Mom’s last conversation with me. She was in her final stages of battling cancer, though she would have argued she was not. She was in a lot of pain, but she felt the need to keep telling me she was OK and not in any pain. I marvel at her strength and selflessness that she still thought of protecting me even when she was in such pain.
As a Mom, I pray for grace and strength to serve my family as God would
have me do. It’s easy to talk about patience, kindness and goodness until you
have to live it out every day, and you realize how far off the mark you are, how
harsh the words we say often are and how selfish we can be.
As a daughter and mother, I feel like a relay runner. In relay races, teams of athletes run a designated distance with a baton, passing it to the next team member within a specific exchange zone. The primary rule is that the baton must be passed within this zone, which is usually a 20-meter area marked on the track.
My mother passed the baton of love, faith and a life well lived to me within her lifetime, and it’s my turn to pass this baton to my kids within my lifetime.
As a daughter, at my mother’s funeral, I looked at my mother’s casket and said,
“Well done, Mom. You have fought the good fight. You have finished the
race, and you have kept the faith.”( Paraphrased from 2 Timothy 4:7 NIV)
As a mother, I pray that one day my kids will be able to say,
She fought the good fight,
She finished the race,
She kept the faith.
This is what Mother’s Day now means to me. A day to reflect on my legacy. A
time to remind myself that my work is to pass the baton in this race of
faith, in the time allotted to me, whose ultimate prize is Our Lord and
Savior.