Last Updated on December 1, 2025
For many, Father’s Day often comes and goes with far less celebration than Mother’s Day.
Father’s Day can often stir up pain rather than joy, and be a reminder of absence, disappointment, or emotional wounds left by broken relationships with our earthly fathers.
I know this feeling because I’ve experienced the ache of fatherlessness.
However, as I’ve grown—both in years and in faith—I’ve come to see things differently.
I’ve come to realize that I’ve always had a Father. Not the kind you can see or call on the phone, but one who has been with me every step of the way: my Heavenly Father.
During my formative years, I didn’t understand this or recognize it just yet. But now, as I look back and reflect on my journey—through reading Scripture and personal experience—I can see it clearly.
He was always there. I can look back and see his undeniable fingerprints.
For those who have experienced fatherlessness, it can distort their view of God. It can create a struggle to trust Him, to believe in His goodness, or to truly feel loved.
But what I’ve learned, and continue to learn, is this: God is nothing like the people who have hurt us. He’s not distant or unreliable. He doesn’t abandon or break His promises.
God is the perfect Father. He is constant. He is kind. He is trustworthy. And because He is truth, He cannot lie or break His word.
“God is a father to the fatherless…” Psalm 68:5
“You’re Just Like Your Father”
You may have heard the phrase “You’re just like your father” used to highlight a comparison between a child and their father. Depending on the qualities of the person of reference it can carry different connotations but points to a connection of identity.
Biologically, children receive part of their genetic makeup from their fathers—specifically their gender identity which is determined by the father’s chromosome.
It’s a small yet powerful example of God’s intentional design. It speaks to the natural connection between a father and child and the unique role a father plays in shaping a child’s earthly identity.
And just like this natural identity connection between a father and child, the same is true with having God as our Heavenly Father. When we come into relationship with God through Jesus Christ, everything changes. “You’re just like your father” has a new meaning.
In Him, we find our true identity—not one based on brokenness, but on wholeness offered through Jesus Christ.
And even though our earthly experience of fatherlessness does not reflect God’s original design or intention, we can see and understand that our eternal identity is not tied to that pain (ref. Ephesians 1:3-14 ICB).
Yes, our earthly experiences matter. They leave real marks, shape us, and even influence how we see ourselves.
But the good news is that we have a Father in heaven who meets us in our pain. He carries our hurt. He restores what has been lost. And He calls us His own.
In Christ, we are given a new identity – a deeper identity. And there’s no greater identity than to be found in Him. So now when we think about the words “You’re just like your Father” from the lens of our heavenly Father, we can smile because they are true, beautiful and redemptive.
“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” 1 John 3:1 (NIV)
How I’ve Handled Fatherlessness
My journey through fatherlessness has been complex and emotional, but also redemptive. Fatherlessness left a mark but it didn’t define my future. Also, healing didn’t happen overnight. It took intentional work—spiritually, mentally, and emotionally.
I want to share a bit of what that’s looked like for me, in hopes that it might help someone walking a similar path.
1. My Anchor: God’s Word
At the center of my healing has been the Word of God. His truth became my anchor when emotions threatened to overwhelm me or when lies about my worth tried to take root.
Over time, I began to see myself not through the lens of abandonment or lack, but through the eyes of a loving Heavenly Father who never left. And I don’t blame God for what my earthly father didn’t do.
Instead, I’ve learned to see Him clearly, for who He truly is: a faithful, loving, trustworthy Father. And the one who also avenges, heals, restores, and redeems.
Alongside Scripture, I leaned on wise counsel and the support of healthy family members, friends, and my faith-based community (because healing doesn’t happen in isolation).
2. Personal Mindset Shifts
As someone who’s wired to be practical, I had to develop a mindset that would sustain healing. Here’s what I’ve embraced along the way:
- Realistic expectations: I don’t fantasize about what could have been. I deal with what is.
- Acceptance: I’ve learned to let go of what I cannot change—without bitterness—and trust God with the rest.
- Forgiveness: I choose it daily. Not because it erases the past, but because it frees my future. I choose healing over bitterness and to focus on the blessings God has given me. I don’t let what hurt me, hold me.
- Emotional honesty: I acknowledge how I feel and process those feelings with trusted people. But I don’t let emotions drive my decisions or define my identity.
“Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord cares for me.” Psalm 27:10 HCSB
“Beauty for Ashes”: My Testimony
There’s a passage in Scripture that says God gives “beauty for ashes”—and I’m living proof of that truth (ref. Isaiah 61:3).
After experiencing misfortune tied to fatherlessness and broken relationships, God has surrounded me with something entirely different: a life full of strong, present, and loving men. I’d like to say he gave me “double for my trouble.”
I’m incredibly grateful to be married to an amazing husband who makes room for me to grow, flourish, and become everything God has called me to be. He loves well, leads well, and shows up consistently. Through him, I get to witness a healthy image of fatherhood right in our home.
Our three sons are blessed to have a father who is present, intentional, and grounded in love. Watching my boys grow up with a father who actively participates in their lives is something I don’t take for granted because that’s not the kind of a fatherhood experience I had growing up.
But the legacy of fatherhood doesn’t start there. I want to pause and honor my father-in-love—a man who modeled that same kind of intentional fatherhood for my husband and who also extends love to me as a daughter. His example has shaped our family in ways I am forever grateful for.
And I’d be remiss not to mention the men in my maternal lineage, my grandfather and great-grandfather, who I’ve spoken about before in previous writings. They, too, are models of what it looks like to be present and steady.
Read This Next: Happy Heavenly Father’s Day: Father’s Day And The Single Mom
In Closing
As moms who have experienced fatherlessness, we can learn to trust God as our Father. We also carry a unique opportunity. We can choose to break the cycle and stop the ripple effects of fatherlessness – not by focusing our efforts on earthly fathers, but by pointing our children to the One Father who will never fail them: our Heavenly Father.
And if your children are blessed to have a godly father in the home, that’s such a beautiful gift. That father’s presence is a powerful model of love and stability. But even then, it’s still important to teach our children that their ultimate identity comes from God alone.
So whether through the absence or presence of an earthly Father, we can know and raise a generation that also knows what it means to be truly seen, known, and loved by the perfect Father.
“However, those the Father has given me will come to me, and I will never reject them.” – John 6:37 NLT