How To Show Your Kids What a Healthy Marriage Looks Like

This month in the guide is all about showing your kids healthy marriages, especially in light of it being Valentine’s Day.

Now sidenote, my husband Benjamin and I don’t even celebrate Valentine’s Day! We’ve been married 15 years, but we’ve known each other for 20, and we’ve never celebrated Valentine’s Day. And I’m not saying you shouldn’t! But for me, it just never really felt special if everyone was saying I love you. (I know, I am extra in some areas.)

But for those of you who ARE celebrating, this whole idea of love and being together is on everyone’s minds. 

And for those who aren’t married, whether you’re widowed, divorced or single, I think it’s always good to remember regardless of our situation in any area that what matters is God’s truth about what He thinks about a particular area in our life.

So how do we show our kids a healthy marriage, what that looks like and what God says that looks like in His Word? 

Going to the Bible, talking about respect, leaving and cleaving and ALL the things He has set up for us in marriage as boundaries to protect that sacred covenant. 

Based on that, let’s get into some ways that we can show our kids healthy relationships and a healthy marriage.

Ways to show your kids what a healthy marriage looks like

1. Celebrate your anniversaries with exuberance, and be careful to talk about marriage in a positive light.
2. Plan a special evening with your spouse. (For single moms, get together with a trusted friend.) Discuss ways to connect with your kids together outside of the ordinary.
3. Refuse the temptation to “emotionally withdraw” from your spouse. Recognize it, resist it, and do what it takes to grow closer!
4. Pray daily for your husband.
5. Make time with your spouse a priority. Put him before the kids. Establish a regular date night and keep it.
6. Do fun, silly, new things as a whole family and nurture laughter.
7. Let your kids see you be quick to ask forgiveness and to forgive your spouse, even when you don’t want to. Healing takes time but the healing process starts with forgiveness. 

Let’s be real. Marriage is hard! And it is a daily choice to do what is right, even when you don’t want to. 

But the fruit of that, the fruit your kids will see whether you see your kids see you working through an argument or a disagreement, they’ll see all those things that represent a healthy relationship in your home. 

That includes repentance when we’re wrong and being willing to forgive each other. When our kids can see that, it softens their heart to their own relationship with God, and hopefully to their future relationship with their spouses. 

Remember, we help our kids by showing them what healthy relationships look like through this important covenant called marriage.

Regardless of your current relationship status, what are some ideas that YOU have for showing your kid what a healthy marriage looks like?