I will be the first to say motherhood is hard, messy, and unpredictable. Especially if you are a SAHM (stay-at-home mom) during the pandemic. The only peace you had was when the school-aged kids were at school!
But motherhood is not just hard during this pandemic.
Motherhood, being a wife, working, not working, can be so overwhelming and not always rewarding. As mothers, we can be so focused on the roles we have that we lose ourselves.
The things we once aspired to do, we lost sight of. The dreams, business plans, or education are put on the back burner. Over time it can make us feel forgotten, overlooked, and devalued until we no longer enjoy the life we have.
If we’re not careful, this can lead us into the mindset of, “What’s in it for me? ” We shame ourselves and allow false guilt to beat us down because we just want time for MOMMY.
Is that selfish? Absolutely Not!
The trap of comparison
This was my life. After I had my 4th child and not being able to start my career yet again, I was convinced I could only be a mom. So, I began to speak and walk into an identity that God never approved of. He was nowhere in it.
I would say, “I’m just a mom and that’s all I’ll ever be.” I looked at those around me and wished I could pursue my career. This was my number one mistake.
Don’t look at anyone else’s life in comparison to your own. The path that God has for you is for you, and the path that God has for them is for them, even if it looks similar.
For some reason, I thought my career equaled my purpose in life. That’s not even biblical, yet I believed it. I went on with this idea for years that I would never be anything other than a mom. At the same time, my husband was dealing with his own identity issues about him being a provider. He was unhappy in the pursuit of his passion and projected his disappoints, failures and frustrations on me.
My marriage was failing, and my life was falling apart. A year later my husband decided he did not want me or the kids around and I moved back with my parents.
Not just a mom
I immediately started applying for jobs. I got one, and then the pandemic happened!
The position I applied for closed because it wasn’t considered an essential department of the company. The schools closed, and overnight I became an uncertified teacher.
There was no way I could work. I was so angry at this point. I would sit in my car sobbing; basically, having a full-blown tantrum.
My husband and I were not on speaking terms. I didn’t have a dime to my name. I had a newborn, and the rest of my kids were under the age of 6.
I cried out to God, “What am I doing wrong? This cannot be my life!” I AM NOT JUST A MOM!”
Rest and restoration
After that, I felt the weight on my shoulders get a little lighter. I began to seek God on what he wanted me to do. I began to develop a closer relationship with Him, and He began showing me the things that He wanted me to do.
For the first time in a long time, I could hear the voice of the Lord so clearly.
I believe God was calling me to rest so that he could restore. I had lost sight of who I was, and I aligned my thoughts and my actions with things that were not from Him. He tore it all down, to build it back up into something that was pleasing to Him.
Often, it is through our pain that we become the best versions of ourselves. God restored my perspective of motherhood. I am not JUST a mom. I am a mom on purpose, with purpose, for a purpose!
He has since restored my husband, our marriage, and our family.
It is my belief that no matter the titles that we hold or the many hats that we wear; our identity is in Christ!
Although being a mom is purposed by God, it’s not our only purpose. There is a purpose outside of motherhood! We only need to seek Him to find it.
is from South Carolina. She has been married for almost 10 years to her lovely husband and they have 4 beautiful children 8, 6, 3, and 2. She is the Children’s Church Director at Living Word Christian Church, in South Carolina. She teaches kids of all ages and absolutely loves it. Janee is also the founder of Mommy Its Time which is a community for moms of all stages on their journey of motherhood. She utilizes YouTube and Instagram to encourage and empower moms through biblical affirmations to discover the purpose that God has for their lives. She comes from a big family and now with her own, Janee enjoys it when they are all able to spend time together. She also enjoys sitting outside when the morning is still quiet and meditating on God’s Word where she finds so much peace, joy, and clarity.