Here at MomLife Today, we talk a lot about marriage in relation to parenting. But the reality is some moms also find themselves dating or in a season of singleness. That’s why it’s so important for us to discuss what it looks like to live a godly single life too.
My husband and I recently discussed this in a recent episode of our podcast, Why or Why Not With the Watsons. But I also wanted to share some of the key thoughts with you ladies here. I hope you find this helpful and encouraging!
It’s not about perfection
Being single in today’s world can be a struggle – especially when you’re a Christian looking for a God-centered relationship. Our culture has a lot of impact on how people date and rarely do its values line up with the Word of God.
That’s why there are so many questions surrounding dating and singleness. So how do you handle all this as a believer?
My husband, Benjamin, and I definitely weren’t perfect during our dating stage. We had our struggles, but we also had intention and God in mind.
Scripture has a lot to say about relationships. There are so many verses about love, purity, and holiness. And as Christians, our actions and relationships should set us apart from the rest of the world.
We won’t always get it right, but there’s grace that covers sin.
Here are answers to some common questions about singleness:
1. Should Christians use dating apps?
God can bring people together in a variety of ways. We live in an era where technology makes it easier to meet people. There are both successful and horror relationship stories. So you reallyjust have to know yourself first and stay tuned to the Holy Spirit. Always be honest and have boundaries!
2. How do you know who to date?
It’s important to have an understanding of the qualities you want in someone. When Benjamin and I first started dating, we had gone through several past breakups. By that point, we knew what we wanted in our future spouse and marriage. Benjamin was looking for the future mother of his children and desired spiritual compatibility. I wanted a husband who would lead me and love the Lord. Your list shouldn’t consist of details like their height, eye color, and favorite movie. Instead, it should be about the standards and morals you’re looking for in a person.
3. How should we view singleness?
Singleness is an opportunity for us to really dive deep into what God intends for us.
It’s a time to grow in your faith and honor the Lord. Apostle Paul is a great example of how Christians should live out their singleness. He makes it clear that when you’re single you can do God’s work. Your attention isn’t divided, it’s straightforward and you’re on fire for God. (1 Corinthians 7)
When you’re married, it becomes more difficult. You have another person to take into consideration and your attention is divided. Even when it’s hard, this is one reason to cherish your season of singleness.
4. How do you date with the right intent?
Benjamin and I were really good friends beforehand and had a lot of respect and care for each other. We were serious about not wasting each other’s time and had deep conversations early on about what dating would look like. We wanted to honor the Lord through our relationship.
Now, some single people out there are dating just to date – they want to have fun. Know what you want out of a relationship and ask yourself, is this person going the same direction as you?
5. How do you stay obedient?
Temptation can be a struggle whether you’re single or not. Be wise about the situations you put yourself in! God honors those who do not compromise. If you do find yourself falling, repent and ask God for forgiveness. He has enough forgiveness and mercy to cover you. Put Him first!
6. Should single people hang out with married couples and vice versa?
Yes! It’s so important for Christians to be in community with other Christians, single or married. And married couples – single people are watching you! They pay attention to how you talk about your spouse, how you handle married life, and if you’re happy.
On the other side of the coin, it’s good for married people to be around newly engaged and dating people. It’s great to be reminded of how to date because sometimes us married folk can get beat down and forget what it was like.
Do you have any other questions or thoughts about singleness and dating? I’d love to hear them!
You can hear the full episode of “How to Handle Singleness and Dating” on the Why or Why Not with The Watsons podcast right here.