An Open Letter from a Few Guys Who Care
For a few years now my husband and son have gathered a group of young men and their fathers for a time of growing together towards manhood. My son dubbed them the Roof Crashers the week they were studying about the paralytic man whose friends lowered him through a roof to get to Jesus. They have committed to do whatever it takes to get each other to Jesus! What an amazing blessing it is to see who these young men are becoming through their commitment towards intentional growth in Christ.
Several weeks ago I forwarded them a blog post written by a teen girl who was apologizing for what as young men they had to deal with in girls. As a result they had a great discussion about that post, after which they decided they wanted to write their own reply.
So, from the Roof Crashers to Anna Koistinen and all the other girls out there…here is their reply! I sure hope you will leave comments so I can forward them to the guys! ~Tracey
We are Roof Crashers. For three years our group of high school guys have gathered on Wednesday evenings, before youth group, to talk about being the men that God wants us to be. We are grateful that our fathers and various invited guests have joined our discussions and challenged us as iron sharpening iron.
Recently one of the dads brought us your “Sincerely, One of Many Girls Who Care” article. It stimulated a lively and heartfelt discussion and later during our accountability time it encouraged some confessions and commitments that no doubt will alter future decisions we make as men.
Thank you for your words of encouragement! They were both eye opening and frustrating at the same time. Frustrating because we too have some apologies that we want to share with you and the many other girls who care…
Sincerely, A Few Guys Who Care,
To the girl who loves Jesus and is seeking Him: We appreciate that you are a girl, made uniquely. We are sorry that you are made to feel that your uniqueness needs to be hidden and in order to be accepted you must conform to wrong images and ideals.
So, we would like to say, “Sorry”!
We are sorry that society turns you into an item. Not the unique gift that you are. We realize it’s hard to be a girl because you feel you are always being watched and have to measure up to some ideal that isn’t even real. It is wrong that you are made to feel valued solely based on your looks.
We are sorry that you are ogled all the time by guys. It ticks us off to see guys whistling or making catcalls at girls. You deserve to be treated better.
We are sorry that you feel you have to “settle” by dealing with guys who are jerks and don’t treat you right. Many guys only do what a girl wants to get what he wants from her.
We are sorry that if you end up with a guy, he very well might treat you like you are the best thing ever, but once he’s done with you he will dump you in the trash.
We are sorry as guys we know how girls think, and guys take advantage of that. Guys take advantage of what we know to be a girls basic needs … we are manipulative.
We are sorry you don’t feel honored.
We are sorry society tells you that you have to act or dress in a certain way to get the attention of a guy. Society encourages you to dress scantily and that is the only thing guys will be attracted to. There are those of us that look beyond the obvious and are drawn to the extraordinary that is your ordinary.
We are sorry that chivalry is dying and some girls feel like guys shouldn’t open doors for them. We open doors because we want to, not because we think you are weak; we want to make you feel appreciated, valuable and precious.
We are sorry for the way manhood has been degraded and not held to high standards. Expectations for men are low. So guys don’t have high expectations for themselves.
We are sorry that so many girls, and guys, have been abandoned by their fathers.
We realize that there are men out there who are not stepping up and being men and we are sorry for that. Four out of ten kids are born to single moms. That is wrong. Very wrong. We apologize so many of you were abandoned and not protected by your fathers against a highly sexualized society.
We are really sorry for the male addiction to pornography – we are sorry that guys have been led to believe its not actual sex, but it is. It is cheating on your girl friend and your future spouse to view pornography. We see that pornography just keeps fueling the message to a girl that this is what guys are looking for, so this is how you act to get a guys attention. But real men are not looking, and don’t want you looking either. Just say no.
We hate that there very well could be no innocence in your future husband because of porn. We pray God will heal wounds and make even those personal intimate times His by overcoming past mistakes. And that God will give us strength to just say no.
Society puts so much emphasis on sex, it’s always in front of us, it’s always male driven, but girls are forced to adopt it and become promiscuous. Girls think they have to put up with being sexy because that’s the way guys in society are, but that’s not the way it has to be, needs to be, or should be.
Young girls have all the wrong role models, far too many to name, who dress provocative, behave inappropriate and don’t act their age. You are negatively influenced by them and we are sorry for that. Girls are looking up to the wrong people.
Some words of encouragement from a group of guys who are trying…
In our group, the Roof Crashers, we talk a lot about our future wives. And there are ways that we know our future wives are impacted by society that grieve us. If we could we would tell our future wives to pray for us and know God has a plan. We both need to be strong.
As young men we want to encourage you that there are guys around that are trying to hear God’s voice above all the noise. That do read His word, talk to Him, share deeply with each other, hold each other accountable and we are praying … for a girl like you.
We want you to know that there are guys out there, good Godly guys who are trying to do the right thing.
We want you to know that we recognize that looks are not everything, but society tells us it is. And we get frustrated by that. We are frustrated that while God made us very visual, society has perverted the image of beauty into something crude and wrong. We seek to be attracted to girls based on who they are, and interested in more than appearances.
Don’t lower your standards.
Wait for the right guy to pursue you.
There are predators out there who are preying on you.
There are fakers.
Don’t give up.
Not all guys are looking for beauty queens, we are looking for girls who love the Lord.
It’s all about the character of the girl – it is her heart that counts.
Pursue truth, don’t worry about what the world is telling you to pursue. Fear the Lord… and you will be praised.
Most guys want to marry a girl who is pure.
We are proud of you, we appreciate your commitment and from each of us to you, we just wanted to say:
Thank you for your modesty. We really mean that.
Continue to set high standards, wait for the right guy
Don’t let others pull you down, chase after God.
Thank you for rejecting low standards.
There are guys out there that are in fact seeking the Lord and want to be the men of God you deserve.
God is pleased with you for not compromising your morals.
Thank you for calling us to be leaders and to reject passivity.
Guys care about who you are inside, not just the outside and there is someone out there who shares the same moral standards as you – don’t settle.
Know that you are accepted in God and you don’t need to seek the acceptance of guys.
God is better than any guy out there. And all boys are stupid, don’t get married till your 30.
We are Roof Crashers (Luke 5: 17-26) Please know that we are actively seeking to be the men of God and the future husbands and fathers that girls like you deserve.
LOVE EVERY SINGLE WORD! Thank you! And I’m praying for a “roof crasher” for my girl.
Thank you for your encouragement to these fine young men …looking forward to passing it along when they meet this Wednesday night!
Wow. I don’t have know how to put into words how this makes me feel. As a mother of 4 girls…as a grownup girl and as Jesus lover, I am grateful for this letter. Just wow.
Thanks so much Wynter…I just prayed your girls would be blessed with just such a young man some day! Big Hug!
SO SO proud of the roof crashers! May God multiply their tribe by hundreds and thousands. from a mom of a daughter committed to purity, living for Jesus who just turned 29 and knows first hand the dearth of honorable, marriageable young men.
Thanks Barbara! Your girl is precious and an amazing example of just who these young men are praying for someday!
Thanks, guys, for having the guts to say it all!
Wow…this is proof that the status quo and what popular culture dictates can be bucked! Way to go roof crashers! Way to follow Jesus and affirm what healthy relationships look like. How wonderful that you have each other and thank you for sharing these powerful words. Like the other moms reading, I’m praying for roof crashers for my girls someday!
Thanks for your kind words Arlene – I just joined you in that prayer! Hugs!
Dear Roof Crashers,
I made my commitment to modesty and to purity when I was ten years old. That same year I began praying for my future spouse. Last year I began writing letters to him in a journal, including written prayers with those letters. Now I am eighteen and I am extremely grateful for your encouragement and for my mom who shared this, your letter, with me. I am so highly committed to God and to purity that I have vowed to never even kiss a man until my wedding day. Form that statement you may be able to imagine my distress when looking at the world around me and the conduct of the “men” in it. So I say again, thank you for your encouragement and your proof that committed Godly men do still exist.
To hopefully encourage you, and like minded men, in return, I have included a copy of my constant prayer for my future spouse, as addressed to the same:
Tonight I thank God for what he is doing in your life and mine. I thank him for the knowledge of the promise that he is always there. I pray that you and I would feel God’s presents in our lives and that we would be encouraged by that. I pray for strength for you and for me to fight the temptations of this world and the trend of this culture to take, and to indulge in impurities. I pray that God would convict our spirits and keep us wholly pure in mind, thought, and deed for his sake, and for the sake of each other. I pray for the agility to dodge the obstacles of the evil one, and for the patience to wait on God’s perfect timing. I pray for your safety, courage, and faith. I pray that God would draw us deeper in our faith, and that he would raise you up to be a spiritual leader for your household. I pray for peace, and joy, and strength for tomorrow. Finally I pray that God would be blessed by our eventual marriage and our entire relationship would honor and glorify him. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
Roof Crashers, I truly hope that you are encouraged by this prayer.
With blessings and love, your sister in Christ,
Aimee – what an amazing young woman you are. Thank you for taking the time to encourage and pray for these young men – they will be reading your comment this Wednesday night! I just lifted up a prayer for you! Blessings to you.
Thank you for this. I am a mom 3 boys and am praying that when they reach their teens they will be will be secure in who they are as God’s sons. What a encouragement to me you have been and bless your parents, they must have done something right.
God is able…remain faithful to lovingly and even playfully sow His words into their hearts! Involved parents make a big difference in a child’s life! I just prayed for your boys! Big Hug to you Tonya – Be The Mom!
wow very inspiring, i’m hoping find myself a roof crusher lol, im a single mom of a 1 year old
Hey Debra! Draw near the Lord and He will draw near to you! Just prayed for you and your precious little one – be blessed and a big hug to you!
That’s very amazing to read..I think sometimes we all get so caught up in what the world sees as appropriate or acceptable and we follow that instead of what we should be
Amen Ashley – and thanks for your comment! Blessings to you!
I think what y’all do is amazing because there’s not a lot of guys you can find that do or is what y’all are
Thanks for the encouragement Jayla – I sure will pass it along! As the Roof Crashers said – don’t settle! Blessings!
Hey Roof Crashers, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for the way you are pursuing the Lord and staying focused on Him. Thank you for choosing to grow together toward Christ in a community of men and being committed to learning what it looks like to be men of God. That is so rare. Rare in our culture among grown men, rare among college guys, and very rare in the High School years. It is so encouraging to see a group of guys like you. Our society is not lost! God is still moving and working. Thank you for being evidence of that. I want to challenge you guys to look for younger guys or even your peers who are not seeking the Lord like you are and pour into them. Challenge them, encourage them, speak truth into them. Call them up to the higher standard that you have chosen to pursue. Bring them with you. Keep running the race, it is so worth it.
Thanks for your encouragement Kate – the Roof Crashers will see your comment this Wednesday and be blessed and challenged by it! I know they do reach out to others, but I am certain your reminder of that will spur them on! Blessings and hugs!
As a mom of two teenage boys, I LOVED knowing that there are other young men who are striving, like my sons, to honor women and follow hard after God. Thank, thank you, thank you for putting this into such sweet, honest words. The young ladies that God has for you in the future will be so blessed!
Hey Loralee – just prayed for your sons! Thanks for your heartfelt words, they will encourage the Roof Crashers! Big Hug mom!
Wow, my eyes literally filled with tears while reading this. As a 17 year old girl striving hard after Christ, I can truly say it hasn’t been easy. I’m so glad you guys wrote this letter, I’m definitely going to be sharing it. I would an apology letter but what Anna wrote sums it up, especially at the end for you guys. I am so thankful for brothers in Christ who are seeking after Him and striving for purity. Keep it up! Your group is uncommon, and it is a group that shines like a star in this crooked and depraved generation. I want to encourage you guys to continue to listen to God above the noise, He is speaking through you not only with this letter but just the way you simply live out each of your lives. It’s evident that God is truly using each of you in great ways and that He’s going to continue to use you all in ways you can’t even imagine. Never forget how appreciated you are for being a man after Gods heart. Remember to be the guy that’s so lost in the Lord that a girl has to seek Him to find you. Thank you again for your post, Roof Crashers.
Your Sister in Christ,
Thanks for encouraging the guys Jess – they will be MOST blessed by your words. And that quote you left has been something my 21 year old daughter has held to since she was a young teen, thanks to Dannah Gresh…and God brought her just that young man in Benjamin and they are to be married in June! I just prayed for Jess! Big Hug!
I am very impressed by this group of young men! Way to go dads for being involved and intentional with these guys!!
Thanks Seth for your encouraging words – they will be passed along! Blessings to you!
Praise the Lord! Our daughter is not yet 2 years old and this brought me to tears as ‘Roof Crashers’ are exactly what we are praying for her! God bless these young men of God and their fathers. (Where are they located? We have a 15 yr. old son that he and his father would like to do something like this together!)
Thanks so much Angela! I just lifted up a prayer for your family! Intentional and involved parenting is so important as we imprint God’s truth into our children.
And humm….Maybe your hubby and son should start a group? Maybe I need to create a way for lots of Fathers/Sons to create group? Maybe God is up to something! Blessings to you!
Roof Crashers, your future wives will be blessed by your current commitment to living a pure life. Rock on and be blessed!
Thanks Amy! Right back at ya! Hugs!
Wow! Just wow! I just blogged about this exact topic a couple of months ago! I love to see real proof that there are great guys out there who are seeking God before seeking wives. This is beautiful.
My blog shared my own personal experience. Here is the link if anyone is interested. It is called My Letter to Young Christian Girls.
Thanks for sharing Cara! I am going to go check out your blog post now! I am guessing the Roof Crashers will be blessed by your example! Hugs to you!
The greatest part of this is that these guys are all LIVING this, not just writing it. Thank you!
Sweet Coplea…thanks for your encouragement…it will mean a lot to the guys! Hugs to you beautiful girl!
Wow… this is so encouraging! Praying for you guys and your mission.
-A young woman who cares
Thank you for your encouragement and your prayers! I just prayed for you! Be blessed!
Thank you for your moving words. As a mom of three young boys, my husband and I fear our boys will fall into the trap of society by chasing the wrong qualities in girls as they age. I have a personal fear of raising a boy who makes a girl feel the way you described above. I am blessed to have a husband who is just as adamant about teaching our mischievous trio to respect women. With my husband being a police officer and myself, a school teacher, we see how this idea of basing value on looks and sex is rising. Thank you for fighting this battle and teaching young parents how to prepare our boys for the fight. I wish I could give a copy of this letter to every 6th grade girl I see giving herself away each day.
Ashley thank you and may you and your family be lovingly blessed by the Lord for your service to your community. Thank you for giving of yourself. Fear not! Relationship and intentional parenting goes a long way. If you connect with your kids and teach them God’s truth in the process they remain teachable towards their Heavenly Father. It’s not so much raising “good” kids, it’s raising kids that will be teachable – that’s happens through relationship with you and God! I substitute taught…I have seen it too…I am CERTAIN you are making an impact! I have great admiration for you and your police officer husband! I just prayed for your wonderful family! I will pass your words along to the Roof Crashers! Big Hug mom!
Wow! This is so encouraging to read. From a girl’s perspective, I can definitely say that fighting to preserve my purity is a constant and ongoing battle, and I imagine it is for guys as well. I wish that every girl could hear the exact words that the Roof Crashers said, even the ones striving for purity need CONSTANT reassurance that there IS a man battling the same things, and he’s out there waiting. We need to all be reminded that there’s no need to settle, just merely wait until God brings us together in His timing.
As a fifteen year old girl dedicated to Christ and modesty, this is incredibly encouraging! It is so comforting to know that there are men striving to be Christlike in everything that they do. It is so evident that God is working through roof crashers and know that I am praying for everyone involved. Keep reaching towards Him, and know that your sisters in Christ are doing the same.
Your sister in Christ,
Thank you for these amazing words. It’s such an awesome blessing to know that there are still many great God loving guys out there. Be blessed<3
This, this is so incredibly encouraging. As a 17 year old girl who loves Jesus and has yet to have a boyfriend in hopes of saving myself wholly for my husband, reading this gives my heart so much peace. Thank you for loving God and for loving your future wives. It’s wonderful to know that their are young men like you all out there.
Thank you for responding to my niece’s blog. It is exciting to know there are men like you out there who stand up for what is right and pure and honor God with your lives. It would be difficult to be a young person in this world today trying to keep themselves pure while being bombarded hourly with so much temptation.
I would like to apologize for how our society has failed you in lowering the standard of where to draw the line on what is right or wrong. For many years, Satan has been creeping in a little at a time quietly suggesting a hint of sex, drugs or lack of morality until it becomes mildly accepted. Then he takes it a step further with rebellion against church and prayer and lack of respect to authority of parents and teachers. Then it turns into an assault against our belief in God and and our stand as a Christian Nation.
We allowed God to be removed from our homes, schools and voted in those who govern us who lack good moral and righteous judgement. I am sorry you are growing up in a nation that is not what it used to be. Thank God for The Roof Crashers and other godly men like you who are striving to be the kind of person God intended you to be. I am so excited for what He has waiting for you in your future and how He will bless you for standing strong. I pray that my daughter and my nieces will find guys like you. God bless each of you!
And to the girls who read about guys like the Roof Crashers, don’t give up on God or yourselves. Keep praying! Stay in the Word, go to church, join a group of believers for encouragement and accountability. We need a revival in our country, but it starts at home and in our hearts. Pray!
I’m a 20-year-old girl, and this made me cry. I’m writing this through tears, because you have no idea how comforting, healing, and encouraging these words are. We are torn apart by the world’s influences and standards on a constant basis, and to know that there are godly guys out there, who really love the Lord, and who understand the struggles a young woman faces daily…there are no words.
Thank you so much for not being afraid to stand up for what you believe in. Thank you so much for loving us, your sisters in Christ. We’re praying for you too, that God would preserve us all.
May God bless you abundantly…=)
Alright…way to crash my world, Roof Crashers! Haha but seriously…I needed to hear that so bad. I cannot Thankyou enough for each of your words. This reply is beyond encouraging for us women and we genuinely need to hear every one of your words. I speak on behalf of every female who’s seeking The Lord…Thankyou for being and continuously striving to become true Men of God. It is encouraging to know y’all are out there, that y’all are praying for us, as we are praying for you!
Y’all are great,
Thankyou again for the encouragement.
Tracey, Im showing this to my two teen aged girls who love the Lord, to give them hope that there are still young men out there who love the Lord and to hold out until they find a roof crasher!!
Bless God for the “Roof Chasers”. I will be praying for all of you. I’m so thankful for your ministry. I plan to print this article out for my 15 yr old daughter to read. She recently took a vow of purity and I’m sure this will strengthen her during her journey. She’s a year round athlete and the struggles in that environment to stand out and not blend in is not easy.
May God bless and Keep You All,
Wow. I stumbled across this article on Pinterest and it literally almost brought tears to my eyes. I’m not a mom, but a girl who is going through the motions of being single while all of my friends have boyfriends. I have been down in the dumps about waiting, and doubting God’s plan for me, but this article boosted me right back up. Thank you for encouraging me to wait and trust that God has a Godly guy who appreciates who I am in Christ, no matter how long it takes!
These young men remind me of Kent Williams. And that is one of the highest complements I can give. I would encourage the Roof Crashers to listen to the recording of “The Difference One Can Make” by Brother Larry Johnson. It is a beautiful, hilarious, inspiring and spiritual account of the life of an outstanding young man, Kent Williams. We all need more valiant young men, just like your son and his friends. Their efforts to be such courageous warriors is not going unnoticed. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you so much for sharing this!! I’m waiting for a guy who loves the Lord as much as ya’ll do! It seems like that most guys today don’t love a girl for who they are just their body but I want to marry a guy who loves the Lord more than he loves me and I just thank you for sharing this reassuring met that there are guys out there that live the Lord and that God has that guy for me to marry one day! -Meredith Bell