Sanity in the Storm
Lately my biggest issue is I think I’m losing my mind. You might think that should be considered of paramount importance, but I think it was bound to happen. I have way too much going on in my life and in my head. I’m surviving on adrenaline, strong tea, and the love of my children.
The other day I burst into tears and I couldn’t even tell you exactly why. If you had asked I would have wailed, “Everything!”
If I made a list, it would take up the whole 500 words I have for this post. I’ll just give you the subheadings: Parenting issues, teenager issues, ex-husband issues, friend issues, health issues, house issues, car issues, family issues, financial issues, work issues, time issues, mistake issues, education issues, organizational issues … etc, etc, etc.
The sad thing is when I shared my plight with two friends, they both asked, “Are you spending time with the Lord? Really?”
My answer, “Well, I write about that a lot! I look up verses all the time. I’m thinking about Him while I work!”
Hmm … yeah. That sounds lame to me too.
I’m so busy working for God … doing all the things I think I’m supposed to be doing, that I’ve completely shut out time with Him. I can’t remember the last time I really sat still, prayed, and pondered His word. I haven’t even written in my journal in months–too busy writing other things.
And time spent spiritually leading my children? I’m ashamed to say that it has been kicked aside for sports, activities, and homework. As they say, “good” truly is the enemy of “best.”
Wow, maybe that’s why I feel so scatter-brained and emotional. I think I’m carrying a burden alone I was meant to carry with Him. God hasn’t given me more than I can handle unless I try to do it without Him. And that is definitely what I’ve been doing.
There’s hope for my mental state after all! Maybe I can gain some semblance of sanity if I allow God to take over the to-dos. This calls for some serious prayer and time spent pondering His word. My kids and I are going to spend some time reading the Bible together. It’s time we all got our heads on straight.
My storms might not end any time soon, and my list of issues might stay surprisingly long, but God is big enough to handle it all. If I keep my focus on Him and my hand in His, we are going to be just fine.