Will It Ever End?
It’s been almost four years since my husband left. In that time I’ve learned to forgive. It was a hard-fought battle to be sure. I knew forgiveness didn’t mean I wouldn’t struggle with the continuing effects of my ex-husband’s actions on our children.
This week I’m struggling.
My children each seem to be manifesting things that are most certainly related to their father’s abandonment. The other night I saw clearly the pain in my children’s hearts. Alone in the laundry room, I had a time of ranting and raving to God. I had some choice words about my ex-husband. It really served no purpose. Well, I guess it was a little relieving to vent a bit.
I just don’t want to mess with anger anymore. But when I consider that my children will have to deal with this forever and that their father’s opportunity to build their self-esteem, impact their self-images, and provide the security all children need has been lost, I can tend to feel hopeless…and quite angry. Until I consider their Heavenly Father.
He can turn tears to joy. He can take our mess and make something beautiful. In fact, I know He will.
My prayer is that my children will know that:
• God loves them passionately.
• He will never leave them nor forsake them.
• He will be faithful.
• He delights in them.
• He longs to spend time with them.
• There is nothing that can separate them from His love.
Those are all things I would do well to remember also – for me and my children. I just have to figure out how to not focus on the future being tainted by their earthly father’s decisions, but rather touched by their Heavenly Father’s love. So often God uses the pain in our lives to bring us closer to Him – He did that for me. And I must trust that He will do that for my children as well. He is good. He is faithful.
We are healing slowly but surely. And when I feel that familiar pain in my chest as I mourn what we have lost, I pray that God will open my eyes to what He is doing. That I’ll remember that healing doesn’t happen in a day and God will stay with us during the whole process. Difficulties will end, and new ones will begin, but through them all God is faithful. And that will never end.