Where Do You Find Your Identity?
Okay…I’m gonna get a bit spiritual. I hope you don’t mind. My single mommy self just simply can’t survive without Jesus. I know it sounds a bit cliché, but my days just seem to go better when I pray about things. I’m kinder, gentler, wiser, and more patient when I spend time reading the Bible.
But there is just so much to do. I’m often jumping out of bed – well, maybe sliding slowly with deep reservation would be more accurate – taking on my day with nary a thought about God. I do remember to pray things like, “Lord, please help me find Lizzie’s shoes in the next minute.” “Father, could you please make all the lights green?” “Oh God, forgive me for yelling at my kids.” “Lord, is there any way I could complete my to-do list today – or even one thing on it?”
It’s so easy to make this life about getting things done. I do the “gitterdone” mentality real well. I don’t have time to sit down and pray. I don’t have time to read the Bible with my kids. We have to “go, Go, GO!!!”
At night, when I have a moment to evaluate the day, I’m always disappointed. Always. I let at least one of my children down. I acted like a brat to someone. I didn’t make a superb or even healthy, nutritious and enjoyable meal for my kids. There are still 4 loads of laundry to trip over in the hall. There are still papers to be looked at, signed and filed. There are people I forgot to call back, appointments I should have made months ago and deadlines I missed because I can’t keep track of anything!! Those are my nightly taunts to myself. I’ve once again tried to do it all myself – tried to look like I’m the single mom extraordinaire. Not.
There are going to be days when things fall apart. Most days are going to have their disappointments – unless I go to bed at noon and that’s still plenty of time for masses of mistakes. I know God can but doesn’t always choose to make the day go smoothly. What I’m learning is that it’s where I find my identity – where I find my strength, my perspective and my hope. Is my strength from the gym? Nope. Is my perspective from the world – that my home and self should be beautiful, calm and productive? Nope. Is my hope in the dream that eventually I will get it all done in a timely and lovely manner? Nope. My hope is simply and completely in Christ.
Maybe tonight at dinner, I’ll read a passage of scripture with my children. Maybe tomorrow before I drag my weary, sleep-deprived self out of bed, I’ll take a moment to pray. Maybe I’ll find a moment to read something for myself as well. If I believe that it will really help, and I do, I’ve gotta turn my maybes into realities. So sweet sisters, whether you’re single mommies or not, let’s do something great for our kids and spend some time with the Lord today.