mom-frustrated

I used to joke that if I wrote a book it was going to be called, “It was Funny, but Not Ha Ha Funny.”  That pretty much describes my life lately.  Maybe I should call it “This will all be funny later.”

Honestly, I think my house might be in some sort of adolescent rebellion.  Maybe it has made a pact with my 3 year old to drive me completely bonkers.  These past couple of weeks have been one minor or even major catastrophe after another.  I think I can say that if one more thing leaks in my house I’m going to turn it into a water park and charge admission!

My first year as a single mom I remember everything was an “I –am-woman-hear-me-roar” thing.  I mowed the hill in the backyard – Roar!!!  I fixed the washing machine – several times – Roar!!!  I assembled furniture – shelves, beds, and dressers – Roar!!!  I dealt with selling, buying and fixing cars – Roar!!!  I made huge decisions – financial, educational, household, and auto…way more than I wanted to – Roar!!!

I distinctly remember the moment I decided I was tired of roaring.  I was messing with some shelving – really heavy, cumbersome and difficult to fix.  I was no longer roaring.  I was now growling.

I am constantly saying to my children to do everything without grumbling or complaining.  And, yet, there I stood truly grumbling to my core and not just about those silly shelves.  I was complaining about EVERYTHING.

Now I can look back and see the funny side of things like the 3 foot high water fountain my sump pump created in my basement, the many ridiculously heavy things we have lugged up the stairs often in laughter at the difficulty of it all, the car bouncing us along like an amusement park ride complete with creaks, pops and whirs, the basement flooding for the 5th time in the same day, and the washing machine upside down on the laundry room floor.  (Thankfully I have figured out that a swift kick to the washing machine works just as well – and it’s therapeutic too!)

I don’t want to be a single mom in this situation.  I don’t want to have to do everything, be responsible for everything, think about everything and have a good attitude about everything. I want a house with no leaks, a car with no funny noises, finances with no lack, and children who behave all the time.  And then I want to marry a man who loves the Lord, wants to love me and my five wonderful children and maybe happens to be a millionaire.

As I read other blogs – particularly Jennifer’s post “Mom, Summertime Blues, and a Good Laugh” – I am comforted by knowing that I’m not alone in my difficulties.  We all have struggles no matter our circumstances.  God gives us each enough to bring us to Him.   His purpose is not to ruin us but to refine us whether it’s through leaky houses or upside down washing machines.

Are you familiar with the refining process? What have you learned about yourself?

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7 Comments

  1. Hi Sue!. I love your posts. I am so moved by your perspective, as I grew up with a single mom. Life is so hard, but as a single mom, it is harder. And easier to be distracted from all that really matters. God bless you for sharing God’s wisdom and insight with us.

    I am a contributing editor for an innovative, bold, and fresh new magazine, called Flourish. Would you prayerfully consider submitting an article for our next print issue? Our theme is “Independence is overrated”. Your life seems to ring out that theme loud and clear. I think our readers would be so blessed to hear from you. Please check out our website flourishliving.com for more information.

    Praying for you and Look forward to hearing from you.

    Cheri Lueck
    cheri@flourishliving.com

  2. Oh how I could feel this!! You are so right… it’s funny in hindsight.

    Although I am not a single mom, I’m a “married solo parent” due to my husband frequent and extended absences. One day, when he was one a 7 week absence, I had four kids ages 6, 5, 3 and 1, and our house was for sale. The next day was open house… and our sewer exploded out of every toilet, sink and tub like geysers. I had toilet paper and other “sewer contents” from the past 12 months all over my ceilings and wall. And a babysitter was coming over for her very first job ever, in about 10 minutes. By the time she arrived the liquid portion of the geyser had begun flooding my 2nd floor and it was dripping through onto my dining room table on the main floor. I won’t go into more detail… but by that evening I had no carpet, no ceiling in the kitchen, chunks of wall were missing and massive dryers and cleaners were in place in my house… I cancelled the open house.

    When my shy neighbour asked why the police, fire trucks and hazmat team were at my house I broke down and cried. He ran away without saying anything, and later he and his wife blessed us with a nice dinner. But boy… that was a day I felt like grumbling and complaining… but in hindsight it is very funny. I always say… ‘If it’s going to happen to someone, it’ll likely be me!”

    I appreciate your honesty… and your ‘real’ life! Thanks for sharing!

    1. Thank you so much! Your story was funny but painful!!! Isn’t it true that misery loves company! The stories we will have when we are older… 🙂 Blessings! Sue

  3. Sue,
    i too love your posts. you write so well and i can almost picture your descriptions, maybe because i have been there, though not the single mom part, just the crazy doing life with broken washing machines and whining kids and not enough hours in the day.
    wish i lived close enough to come help you one day.
    hugs, barbara

    1. Thank you so much! You definitely don’t have to be a single mom to live a crazy, exhausting existence!! You are such an encouragement to me….truly. Thank you again.