mom-frustrated

I used to joke that if I wrote a book it was going to be called, “It was Funny, but Not Ha Ha Funny.”  That pretty much describes my life lately.  Maybe I should call it “This will all be funny later.”

Honestly, I think my house might be in some sort of adolescent rebellion.  Maybe it has made a pact with my 3 year old to drive me completely bonkers.  These past couple of weeks have been one minor or even major catastrophe after another.  I think I can say that if one more thing leaks in my house I’m going to turn it into a water park and charge admission!

My first year as a single mom I remember everything was an “I –am-woman-hear-me-roar” thing.  I mowed the hill in the backyard – Roar!!!  I fixed the washing machine – several times – Roar!!!  I assembled furniture – shelves, beds, and dressers – Roar!!!  I dealt with selling, buying and fixing cars – Roar!!!  I made huge decisions – financial, educational, household, and auto…way more than I wanted to – Roar!!!

I distinctly remember the moment I decided I was tired of roaring.  I was messing with some shelving – really heavy, cumbersome and difficult to fix.  I was no longer roaring.  I was now growling.

I am constantly saying to my children to do everything without grumbling or complaining.  And, yet, there I stood truly grumbling to my core and not just about those silly shelves.  I was complaining about EVERYTHING.

Now I can look back and see the funny side of things like the 3 foot high water fountain my sump pump created in my basement, the many ridiculously heavy things we have lugged up the stairs often in laughter at the difficulty of it all, the car bouncing us along like an amusement park ride complete with creaks, pops and whirs, the basement flooding for the 5th time in the same day, and the washing machine upside down on the laundry room floor.  (Thankfully I have figured out that a swift kick to the washing machine works just as well – and it’s therapeutic too!)

I don’t want to be a single mom in this situation.  I don’t want to have to do everything, be responsible for everything, think about everything and have a good attitude about everything. I want a house with no leaks, a car with no funny noises, finances with no lack, and children who behave all the time.  And then I want to marry a man who loves the Lord, wants to love me and my five wonderful children and maybe happens to be a millionaire.

As I read other blogs – particularly Jennifer’s post “Mom, Summertime Blues, and a Good Laugh” – I am comforted by knowing that I’m not alone in my difficulties.  We all have struggles no matter our circumstances.  God gives us each enough to bring us to Him.   His purpose is not to ruin us but to refine us whether it’s through leaky houses or upside down washing machines.

Are you familiar with the refining process? What have you learned about yourself?