As a mom of four kids, taxi driver, short-order cook, laundry service, etc., it’s hard to transition to sex kitten after the kids are all tucked in. If I’m not careful, sex becomes an addition to my to-do list. But in reality, it’s one of my favorite perks of being married to my handsome man! When I walk through our bedroom door, I need to leave my role as mom behind and become a lover. Having the right environment helps to flip that switch:
- Soft bedding that’s not worn out. Toss the old, thin sheets and faded comforter and invest in crisp, new bedding, if necessary (it was for us after 14 years of wedded bliss!). Lightly mist linen spray on the pillow cases and sheets.
- Kick the toys and clutter into the hall or pile in a basket if you don’t have time to put them away.
- Keep candles scattered around the room and a lighter hidden in a drawer. With a toddler in the house again, I’ve invested in the battery-operated candles that have a realistic flicker for safety.
- Browse the clearance racks for new lingerie — even if it’s a fun, flirty tank top with boy shorts. Not everything has to be made of lace and see-through. Or wear that pair of fun heels tossed in the back of the closet since you’ve been carrying babies.
- Sexy is an attitude. Lock yourself in the bathroom and put on heavier eye makeup than you’re used to wearing. Tousle your hair, add some dark lipstick, and apply perfume in strategic places. Your husband won’t notice the stretch marks and extra pounds if you present your body as curvy and desirable.
- Move the exercise equipment to another room. If that’s not possible, at least toss a pretty throw over it.
- Hide reading material and dresser clutter in baskets.
- Fill a basket or nightstand drawer with lotions or oils that heat with touch and massagers. Treat your husband to a night of massage, from head to toe.
- Have a variety of music available in CDs, on your iPod, or on a laptop. When we feel the need to escape, we will play our CD of ocean sounds or instrumental latino music for a mental vacation.
- Have fun, sex-free dates in your room, as well. After the kids go to bed, have a dessert picnic or ask each other questions such as “What is your dream destination?” or “What has been the highlight of your life in the past 6 months?” Snuggle together fully-dressed, and tell your spouse what his strengths are.
- Strip Uno: Whenever you play a “Wild” card, remove an article of clothing. Turn your favorite game into foreplay. “Wanna play Twister, Honey?”
- Take the TV out of the room. Permanently. Create an electronics-free sanctuary. Notice what a difference it makes in your communication.
Next time the kids are at Grandma’s, how about turning another unexpected room in the house into a love nest?!
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Julia DesCarpentrie is passionate about orphan care, adoption and fostering. She has been blessed to live out God’s call on her life in those areas through her work with The CALL (Children of Arkansas Loved for a Lifetime), a foster care church initiative encouraging more Christian families to foster children in need. Julia has been an advocate for the fatherless for 10 years, as both a volunteer and also serving with Hope for Orphans before her work with The CALL. She is also an active volunteer in the community and has served on several community boards. She continues to minister to other mothers and foster/adoptive families through writing and speaking with MomLife Today. Julia is the mom of five children entrusted to her care through birth, adoption and fostering. She and Branden have been married for 16 years.