When V-Day is D-Day: Lonely on Valentine’s Day

Last Updated on January 25, 2024

“I hate Valentine’s Day,” the middle-aged woman sadly shared with me.

“Why?” I responded.

“At my office, I have to spend the entire day watching the other women receive flowers and candy, or they talk about their nice dinner plans,” she continued. “My husband doesn’t even buy me a card or show me any affection. My marriage is very difficult, and I often feel lonely. But on Valentine’s Day, I really feel unloved.”

As I looked into this woman’s forlorn blue eyes, my heart ached for her. She felt abandoned by the man who, many years before, had vowed to “love and cherish” her forever.

I’ve had a number of single people tell me how hard Valentine’s Day is for them, but this woman helped me to realize that this holiday might be difficult for married people, too.

Since that experience, when February 14th approaches, I ask God to bring to my mind someone who needs affirmation and to hear “you are loved.”

How about you? Is there someone who needs your loving touch on the “day of love?” Here are some ideas for ways that you can support someone else who is lonely on Valentine’s Day.

Here are a few people to consider:

• Single Parent — a card or flower might make his or her day.
• Widow — taking her for lunch might ease her grief.
• Elderly Neighbor — the kids could make heart-shaped cookies to share.
• Someone who lost his or her job — a restaurant gift card might allow the couple to rekindle the flame during the stress of job loss.
• Separated or Divorced — It will be a lonely, hard day for this person. Any act of kindness that shows “I see your pain” will be appreciated.
• Someone who has experienced a loss or death — during grief, almost every holiday is traumatic; a box of candy will communicate you remembered.
• Singles — Invite her out to eat, go to a movie, or calligraphy/print an encouraging Bible verse to share (e.g., Deuteronomy 31:6, Philippians 4:6–8, 1 Peter 5:7)

I pray these suggestions help to make Valentine’s Day brighter for someone who is lonely on Valetine’s Day. After all, any day with chocolate as the focus is something to smile about!

Laura Petherbridge

Laura is an international speaker and author of, When ‘I Do’ Becomes ‘I Don’t’, The Smart Stepmom, 101 Tips for The Smart Stepmom, Quiet Moments for the Stepmom Soul. She has appeared at/on the Billy Graham Center, Family Talk (Dobson), Focus on the Family, Today’s Christian Woman, FamilyLife, Lifeway, and Moody Broadcasting. Laura has been a featured expert on the DivorceCare DVD series implemented in over 60,000 churches worldwide. In addition to the US, she has spoken in South Africa, Australia, and Canada. Laura and Steve live in Atlanta, Ga, and have been married for 35 years. She has two stepsons, daughters-in-law, and grandkids. She may be reached at www.TheSmartStepmom.com