Marriage is a beautiful union that is so important to God.
In fact, God created the union between husband and wife to model God’s relationship with the Church. But we often forget that we have to regularly submit our relationships up to the Lord.
When God joins a husband and wife together, there’s a purpose for that marriage. There are kingdom assignments that He has designed for you. Our relationships are so much bigger than just two individuals coming together, and our marriages are about so much more than just us. That is why the attack on marriages are so intense.
The Bible tells us that the enemy despises anything and everything that is of God. (Matthew 16:23). So he sets traps, sowing discord and doubt into marriages to carry out his evil plans.
With that being said, how do we build a long-lasting, God-honoring relationship? It’s almost impossible to achieve in our own power; we have to rely on God’s wisdom to guide us.
Here are a few things that God has been showing me are imperative to a long-lasting marriage.
1. Staying Christ-centered.
We need a firm foundation. Apart from God, we are nothing. When a marriage is built on the selfish desires of one another’s needs and wants, it will come to ruin. The Lord urges us to remain in Him, and He will remain in us. We are to consider the Lord in all our ways and decisions because He’s the one who will direct us.
This doesn’t mean we’ll escape life’s troubles. But when opposition arises, having a foundation rooted in Christ will allow us to continue standing. My husband and I got married at a very young age and we’ve certainly had our fair share of low points along the way. Together, we have needed all the help and hope of Christ that we could get. When we were stationed for my husband’s military job far away from family and friends, I learned for the first time what it really meant for God to be the center. And because of His faithfulness, we can say that we’ve been married for ten years and still counting.
2. Recognize the importance of prayer.
Prayer gives us access to God’s power. It is paramount to the vitality of marriage; it’s the lifeline. The Bible commands us to pray without ceasing. So, as wives, we should always cover our husbands with prayer. Sometimes our husbands may struggle with things that they don’t communicate. (Anyone else have communication issues at home?) But when we go before the throne of grace, the Holy Spirit, our advocate, will reveal to us what we need to pray about. Staying in prayer for our spouses deepens our commitment to each other. Not only should we pray for our spouse in our quiet time with God, but we should also set aside time to pray together. I’m reminded of a scripture in Matthew,
[verse reference=”Matthew 18:20″]”For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I with them.”[/verse]
When we pray before God, we’re standing in agreement, and God honors this and will respond. Praying together helps us see our spouses how God sees them, which decreases hostile emotions and increases empathy toward one another. It’s difficult to stay mad at a person when praying with them. When our marriages are under attack, prayer points us back to God, who has all power and the solution to every problem we face. Prayer can do what our words and actions cannot. Whatever you’re walking through with your spouse, I suggest putting a prayer on it. We can do far more when we give the situation back to God. And when words fail, prayers can penetrate the hardest of hearts.
3. Always be obedient to God.
Lastly, we must be obedient to God, even when we and our spouse disagree. Experiencing some level of pain in a relationship is inevitable. We can’t control our husband’s attitudes, feelings, or even words spewed during a disagreement. But we can always control how we choose to respond. I will admit this can be a tough one. But we must lay pride aside and show up for our spouses the way God intended for us. We must extend grace, even if it’s undeserved. Show love and compassion even when it’s the last thing we want to do. It’s easy to let unforgiveness settle in our hearts and bitterness drive our emotions. But, this leads us down a path far from God and His Word. It accomplishes nothing and creates a distant, hostile environment. Don’t give the enemy room to sow more discord and confusion. The Bible says this,
[verse reference=”1 Peter 4:8″]“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”[/verse]
If you’re in conflict with your spouse, always ask yourself, “Am I responding in a way that pleases God?” God sees, honors, and rewards your obedience. And He will use our marriage’s aches and pains to mold and shape us to become more like Him. When we learn to rely on God for peace, strength, and wisdom, our relationships become more substantial. Our commitment to one another becomes more profound, and our faith in God increases.
Any relationship of value will be hard work and we can’t expect to always have smooth sailing. But if you can agree to make Christ the center of your relationship, it will be a relationship built to last – no matter the trials you may face.
