Stop Creepin’ on My Son! Protecting Your Son from Aggressive Girls
For those of you who are raising little boys, allow me to warn you: when they get a little older (and I do mean a little older), they will be facing some rather aggressive girls who do not live by the same social etiquette rules most of us grew up with!
I remember being told by both of my parents not to pursue boys, and that was pretty easy for me to accept. I had two brothers, so I knew the gross side of boys. The rule that stands out foremost in my mind was the “don’t call boys” rule.
But in today’s tween/teen social environment, you can forget that one. Because now not only do tween and teen girls call boys, they text them, send electronic notes, send photos, and plop right next to them at the boys’ lunch table, insert themselves into their conversations, and pursue away!
I am much more concerned about my son having to deal with aggressive members of the opposite sex than I have ever been with his older sister. She has even shared with me that there are girls at school “creepin” on him all the time. (For those of you not in the know, “creepin” is showing aggressive interest in someone.)
What? That makes this mama bear want to roar and protect her cub. However, I must retract the claws, keep my wits about me, and figure out how to protect my son from “the female pack” while not totally embarrassing him in the process.
Protecting Your Son
I find myself looking for teachable moments on the subject everywhere. If we are watching something and there is an aggressive girl portrayed, we discuss the subject. I casually ask him about who he’s spending time with when he’s at school and church events, and I keep my eyes and ears open.
On the practical side of things, he is not allowed to friend anyone on Facebook without approval, and our computer is right in the family room. His cell phone has a block on it that does not allow him to send or receive photos, and he only uses his phone when he’s going somewhere and needs to have it to contact us.
Thankfully, he spends most of his time doing outdoor activities with his friends. So far, he and his buddies are not interested in being hindered by spending time with girls. But at some point that will change.
Dennis Rainey wrote an interesting article on aggressive girls that started a firestorm of comments from concerned moms — so I know I’m not alone in my struggle of how to handle this new phenomenon. Please, help a mom out and share your thoughts with me on this one!
Aggressive Girls, Clueless Boys
Product Description:
“Can u sneak out 2nite?”
What a brazen question for a tween girl to text a boy! In our sex-saturated world, how can parents address the dramatic upswing of sexually forward girls in hot pursuit of their young sons?
Aggressive Girls, Clueless Boys offers a solution to this unsettling cultural trend. Through 7 guided “Talk About It” conversations, what-if scenarios, and honest responses to questions from real-life parents, Dennis Rainey offers a detailed guide on teaching your adolescent son to set boundaries and pursue the right kind of girl.
It’s time for straight talk with your son! Give him the courage to stand strong in a world enticing him to throw away his sexual purity.
Also included: 7 Questions You Should Ask Your Daughter
Interested in checking out the book? Aggressive Girls, Clueless Boys is available today right here.
Hey I clicked on the link to Dennis Rainey’s article and it gave the error message “not found.” Would love to read it also. By the way…THANK YOU!!! We parents have to be aggressive also!
Hi Clay, I’m so sorry about the broken link! They recently moved some things around on the FamilyLife.com site. I noticed this link a little bit ago and should have it updated by the end of the day.
I totally agree about the aggressive girls thing. Also, these days it doesnt even seem to matter if the man is married either. So what kind of marriage are they going to have if they are not taught to respect others marriages?
I heard Family Life Wednesday evening as I was running errands and loved that Dennis and Bob were talking about this. I’m glad this was posted because I had forgotten to go online and listen to what I missed.
Anyway, my mom said it wasn’t appropriate to call and “chase” boys. I disagreed then, but now I am in complete agreement! I have an 8 year old son and it’s not lost on me that any day now the girls are going to start seeing him as more than a playmate on the playground. And we have a 14 year old daughter who I don’t allow to call or text boys. It’s just not a good idea. Nothing good can come out of it.
Thanks for mentioning the resources…I can’t wait to check them out. Any chance the Family Life team would consider a “Weekend to Remember” type conference for parenting? 🙂
[…] more scarce and revealing. And, have you seen the Prom dresses that many young women are wearing? Couple this with the increasing aggressiveness being shown by teen girls in their pursuit of young m…, our jobs as dads as the “fashion police” in our homes becomes so much more critical. […]
This Mama Bear had claws out and was ready to pounce today. I came home and googled and found your article! Love Dennis Rainey, so may need to get this book. I think it’s true boys are clueless (to some measure). I’m trying not to embarrass him, but still walk this season of life with him too! Thanks for this encouragement!