The Power of Taming Your Tongue in Marriage

Last Updated on March 13, 2024

Have you ever said something to your family or friends and almost instantly regretted it?

I’ve been there too, probably more times than I’d like to admit.

In a fury of emotions, anger, or whatever else, I say the first thing that comes to my mind. And sometimes those words are hurtful or seriously lacking in attributes like love or truth. 

James 1:19 says we should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. But one big area that we don’t apply this as often as we should?

In our marriages.

[verse reference=”James 1:19″]My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.[/verse]

It’s time for a conversation

How exactly should we speak to each other as husband and wife? How do we uplift each other? When is it time to say something and when should we be quiet and take a seat? 

These are questions we need to ask on a regular basis to have a healthy marriage. In fact, most of us would do well to sit down with our spouse and actually TALK about how you are with each other! 

In the book of James, there is a whole lot of wisdom on this topic. But you can read everything James talks about and read all the marriage books. If it’s simply in your head and never goes to your heart and out of your mouth, then it’s futile.

The Bible tells us human anger doesn’t accomplish God’s righteousness. So when we’re impatient with our spouse, when we don’t tame our tongue or control our anger, it doesn’t produce the sort of righteousness God will be proud of or that will be productive in our marriages.

Taming our tongue is SO important if we want to have healthy, godly relationships. 

Anger does not produce God’s righteousness. This little organ on the body called “the tongue” causes problems. When it comes to marriage, couples can go for the jugular or Jesus. Can couples tame the tongue? Yes, couples can learn to tame their tongues by remembering the word TAME.

Here are 4 ways you can tame your tongue: 

T: Think before you speak

A: Apologize quickly.

M: Make a decision to do things differently

E: Engage – engage with others in the community

We need the power of the Spirit to help us in our marriages. We also need to not be afraid to have hard conversations and take action when needed. 

It’s my prayer today that you would take on the hard conversations when they’re needed. Ask God to give you grace and the words to say and he will do it!

How can you do a better job of taming your tongue today? 

On my husband and I’s podcast, Why or Why Not With The Watsons, we dive deeper into this topic of taming the tongue and it’s power over your marriage. You can take a listen anytime right here!