I Am Mad and I Want To Be Mad
Sometimes I want to fester in my anger.
“Grrrr, my head is about to explode off of my body!”
That’s what I have been known to say in a relatively light hearted moment of anger. However, what is mostly observed when I am angry is silence, pursed lips and internal tumult.
While this might seem the preferred method of handling anger, I do believe my slow boil and anger festering is quite harmful. Anger undealt with can lead to bitterness and as I described in my book Be The Mom a big unhealthy case of behaving like a Martyr Mom.
And that my friends is not pretty – or helpful.
It’s actually rather pathetic.
We have all, no doubt, learned that the best way to deal with unresolved anger is to communicate – a sullen, pouter, bent on martyrdom is selfishly shutting out those around her and certainly no growth of relationship can occur.
And by her – I mean me.
Part shame, part fear of confrontation, part who wants to even “go there” can shut this little lady down quicker than anything.
As I have worked to analyze the reasons for my shut down, I have learned that confrontation is counter to my spiritual gift of encouragement. For me, it seems evident that to discuss my anger over any given situation will leave others, and myself, discouraged.
But avoidance and stuffing is a dangerous poison to relationships, and our physical bodies.
Through the years, to beat bitterness, I have written notes saying what my lips cannot seem to utter, I have shared with Christian mentors for a heart changing perspective and I have bruised my knees through prayer and confession.
Unspoken anger, given over to God, can lead to healing, but only if we are able to truly leave it at the foot of the cross. It is dangerously counter productive to pick that issue back up and carry it around with us.
We must resolve anger with those to whom we are angry. Let God be God, as He has purpose in our anger and much to teach us if we allow Him.
A tall order, but achievable with a heart willing to be molded.
Yes, O Lord, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.
How about you, do you explode or stuff? Fellow stuffers, please share how God has helped you to avoid bitterness.