Making Wise Choices as a Mom Instead of Foolish, Selfish Choices
Are there foolish choices you need to stop making in 2019? There’s a connection between foolishness and selfishness. Yes, some foolish choices are made out of ignorance (don’t we all ask our hair stylist for straight bangs at least once?), but some foolish choices we make as moms are made eyes-wide-open. When we make a foolish choice knowing full well how unwise the choice is, we are behaving selfishly. We are acting as if our actions will affect only us, and we are ignoring the far-reaching impact our choices have on family, friends, and community.
I suspect my 2018 had way too many instances of me behaving like a selfish fool. I want to make wiser, less self-centered decisions in 2019.
Selfish foolishness is choosing to do the wrong thing when you know full well what’s right, wrong, and the consequences of both.
As moms, we want our kids to grow up to be unselfish people who consider how their actions will impact themselves and others, and then make considerate, wise decisions. No mom wants to raise the opposite. Hopefully, no mom wants to be the opposite.
Pick up your toes because they’re about to be stepped on.
Is there an area in your life where you are acting like a selfish fool? An area where you know:
- What the wise choices are
- What the foolish choices are
- The possible consequences of both
And yet…you willfully choose to do the wrong thing in this area.
Let’s work through this with a couple of sample areas.
Sample Area #1: Nutrition
Ask a group of adults for wise and foolish nutritional choices and consequences, and they’ll likely say:
- “Eat lots of veggies and lean meat to stay healthy and strong.”
- “Avoid junk food because it contributes to health problems, both now and in the future.”
- “Your kids will grow up to eat like you eat, so set a good example for them.”
I know this. You know this. And yet, if we have this nutritional knowledge, but continue to fill our bellies with junk food, we are displaying selfish foolishness. We want to eat whatever we want regardless of the negative consequences this will have on us and on our family.
We like the short-term pleasure or emotional numbing we get from junk food—in fact, we like what it does for us so much that we ignore what our nutritional choices are going to do to both us and our loved ones in the long run.
This, my friend, is selfish foolishness.
Ow, my toes are hurting already.
Sample Area #2: Relationships
Ask a group of adults for wise and foolish relationship choices and consequences, and they’ll likely say:
- “Treat others like you want to be treated and speak the truth in love to keep your relationships healthy and strong.”
- “Avoid storing up grudges, being a doormat, or speaking harshly because it contributes to relationship problems, both now and in the future.”
- “Your kids will grow up to do relationships like you do, so set a good example for them.”
I know this. You know this. And yet, if we have this relationship knowledge, but continue to fill our hearts with bitterness and our mouths with fake “yeses” or angry words, we are displaying selfish foolishness. We want to treat people however we want regardless of the negative consequences this will have on us and on our family.
We like the short-term pleasure or emotional charge/release we get from holding a grudge, avoiding a necessary conflict, or unleashing our temper—in fact, we like what it does for us so much that we ignore what our relationship choices are going to do both us and to our loved ones in the long run.
This too, my friend, is selfish foolishness. And will someone get me an ice pack for my poor toes?
So now that we’re all feeling kind of guilty, what do we do next? (The correct answer is not “Eat up all the leftover Christmas candy.”)
What we do next, friend, is go to Jesus. He is the only One who can change a heart. And you and I are starting 2019 as moms with a heart problem. We’ve got a bad case of Selfish Foolitis. The symptoms include increasing blindness to how our choices hurt others and hardening of the heart.
Would you join me in taking our heart problems to Jesus?
That looks like getting down on your knees and humbly praying something like “Heavenly Father, you know that New Year’s Resolution I’ve already broken? Please forgive me for choosing the wrong thing when I know better. Show me how this isn’t about more human willpower. It’s about Your supernatural power to change my heart. I need Your power to overcome my selfish foolishness. Please remind me of the consequences of my choices when I’m tempted to choose foolishly. Give me a vivid picture of how my selfish choices will hurt me and my family now and in the future. Guide me to any resources or people I need to help me in this journey. Help me to make wise, unselfish choices. Thank you for stepping on my toes, Lord. Amen.”