Motherhood Without Regret
I wasn’t expecting a wave of emotion to overtake me as I read Kelcie’s post on MomLife Today. But here I find myself looking through blurry eyes, filled with tears that are spilling down my cheeks and making tiny wet stains on my shirt.
These last several minutes have been spent staring out the window while dozens of memories tumble through my head and deep sentiment grips my mom heart. Slowly a smile softens my countenance as my eyes focus on the vibrant maple tree before me. The myriad of leaves are changing from pale green to fiery red.
I have always reveled in the beauty of the change of seasons. Each leaf beautiful in it’s season… passing from green to red is what they are designed to do and allure can be experienced through the change.
Kelcie wrote about anticipating an upcoming change and the importance of cherishing the next 12 months before her child heads off to kindergarten. Her precious sentiments stir some of my own.
As I ruminate on the passing of 21 years, freshly aware that my children have headed off to their futures, I do embrace the change; but I feel a sense of urgency. One child married just months ago, the other graduated from high school and now lives some thousand miles away.
I sit here gripped by my changing reality, wondering where the last two decades have gone, and humbly implore you to heed the plea of two mothers. Kelcie’s gentle reminders for you, sweet mom, to embrace every moment, and her determination to do so; my recognition and soft sighs evoked from memories that fill me to overflowing.
We both embrace the truth that how you spend your days matters.
Each moment of my momlife, before the empty nest I now sit in, was fully embraced and fantastically experienced. I am humbly grateful that God impressed on my heart that every choice, every day had long-standing implications in the lives of my children. Who they understood their Father God to be would be in part based on daily choices I made. Choosing to die to self in daily momlife and see the simple as sublime has proven to be a cherished gift accompanied by precious memories tucked away in this mom’s heart.
I am filled with gratitude that He whispered and I obeyed.
Giggles and grins, puzzles and towers, kickball and tossing, coloring and dress-up, story reading and play-acting, baking and drawing, splashing and swinging, hiking and riding, dancing and singing, listening and talking, laughing and crying, teaching and praying.
Sweetly, there is no regret in my momlife. No lost opportunities, because my choice was for life. Life lived daily—on purpose, His purpose.
Allow me to assure you, dear mom, that every moment of every day is an opportunity to emblazon on your child’s heart how fully and completely loved they are. Delight in your children, so that each may know how completely the Lord delights in them.
Will you lean in close now mom and hear me; really hear me?
Life is so full and pulls us in so many directions… but truly, truly… whatever tugs at you that would draw you away from family, imprinting your children and memory making… would you consider cutting it loose so that the tug has no further pull?
My eyes drift to the photos on my desk: she, age 6 with long flowing brown hair and those knowing eyes; he, age 3 with bouncing curls and those curious eyes. A lifetime of nurturing and loving that is mine to remember; sweet colorful memories. Those little grins that meet me through a photograph and are held in my heart forever are savored because I was fully present during every year of growth and change.
I am blessed to revel in the beauty of the change of seasons.