Marriage in Turmoil?
My husband struggles with workaholism, a time-stealing beast he continuously tries to tame. As his loving wife I have to do my very best to support him by praying for him and living with him in an understanding way as much as possible.
During one of those seasons in life when he was working more hours than he or I wanted him to I was pretty much on my way to turning into a shrew. Now granted, I had just cause and he knew it, but me adding more pressure was not, double not, the answer.
Our home was filled with turmoil because my attitude had pretty much tanked. At one point I even reasoned with myself that I should just pack up the kids and leave because he was never there anyway.
I even remember the snark in my thoughts when I declared to myself, He probably wouldn’t even notice for a few days. Which was foolishness because the only thing keeping that man upright was the love he had for us and his comfort in knowing we were well and safe.
At the core of my problem was that I had forgotten my vows, for better or for worse. This was a worse. A biggo worse.
My man was not breaking his vow, he was just in a tough season and I had to look beyond that season to who I knew he was and to what was best for our family. And what was best for our family was NOT me making matters worse by demanding my way.
I could let him have it—made my point with a loud voice and lots of words. I could have taken any semblance of love and peace that had been salvaged in our home and stomped it into the earth and grounded it to oblivion. (Drama queen moment just to give you a peek into the window of my aforementioned shrewness. Eek!)
My husband didn’t have time for me and I was hurt. And because he didn’t have time for me and I was hurt, I was ready to do something drastic to get his attention. Never once did I stop to consider that maybe God was doing something drastic to get my attention.
This tough season in our life led me straight to prayer, to God’s Word, to seeking Him as never before—which ultimately led to brokenness over the hole in my heart that needed to be filled by God’s love, not my husband’s attention.
God was at work even in my hard circumstances.
We weathered that storm because our home was built on a solid foundation. As the storm was wafting its way into the distance, my husband shared with me one night that his own walk with the Lord had been strengthened because I was so patient and kind with him when he had no right to receive such patience and kindness from me. He said he understood more fully Christ’s love for him was not based on his performance.
It was just after this tumultuous time that we got the call to leave corporate America to work and serve in ministry.
It is not lost on me that might never have happened had I made that drastic move to get some attention. The enemy was working overtime to try and thwart God’s plan for our lives.
Sweet mom, I don’t know the depths of your pain or the problems you are facing, but I do know God is not surprised by what you are going through. Seek Him in prayer, praise, worship and the reading of His Word.
He will keep in perfect peace those who trust Him.