Last Updated on August 15, 2018
I heard the mom of an autistic child say, “Do you know what it’s like to have a child that needs you every moment of every day?”
And I had a strong reaction to that statement.
I have friends with children who have autism and I stand in awe of the dedication that they show to their children and the lengths they go to in order to help their children thrive. Moms of children with special needs exhibit an amazing tenacity to do what is best for their children and their dedication is awe inspiring.
Frankly, every mother could learn something pivital from their example.
Selflessness.
A mother of a child with autism, or any other special need, sets herself aside and becomes an attentive student of her child, witnesses how her child reacts to the world and goes about giving her child what he needs to thrive. She personally sees to his needs and personally advocates for his needs.
She refuses to allow “status quo” to dictate what happens in her child’s life. She actively and doggedly becomes a pit bull of an advocate and a stealth like warrior for her child.
You go, mom!
Thus, my strong reaction to the statement, “Do you know what it’s like to have a child that needs you every moment of every day?”
My thought: “Yes … because I believe every child does.” Granted, maybe not physically every moment, but most definitely a child needs a mom who is 100 percent for what’s best for her child … first.
A child knows when he is being pursued and engaged with by a parent, and a child knows when he is being dismissed or overlooked by a parent. Children know when pursuits of a parent are the priority over parenting.
Our children were not made to “raise themselves” or “fend for themselves” or “be resilient.” They were made to be raised by parents, nurtured by mothers, trained up in the way they should go.
Why then is it so easy for us to be distracted and pulled away from doing what matters most?
Luke 12:34 says, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Your treasure is your child. Your heart needs to be for your child and a mom is called to make decisions based on what is best for her child to thrive. Our treasure is not our accomplishments, gaining accolades from others or acquiring more.
God does call us to be selfless and lay down our lives for others – where better to start selflessness than in our own homes.
Do you know what it’s like to have a child that needs you every moment of every day?
Featured resource: Be the Mom
Tracey Eyster is the Founder of MomLife Today and the annual Mom Camp event. Her book Be The Mom, LifeWay Bible Study Beautiful Mess and speaking engagements have allowed her the privilege of speaking into the lives of women sharing what God is teaching her. “Be intentional. Be relational. Be selfless.” In a nutshell, that’s her life and message. Tracey has been a mom since 1993 and she and Bill have been married for over 30 years.
Beautiful Tracey. I think a lot of moms struggle with the seemingly endless needs of their children and yielding to the fact that we need to die to ourselves to be the moms God intended us to be. I can remember a time when I was a young mother that I really wrestled with getting over my selfishness and surrendering to full-time motherhood. But on the other side of that surrender is great freedom, liberating selflessness and joy! Thanks for this reminder to die to myself once again and be faithful to what God has called me to as a mom. It is such a privilege really!
🙂
Thanks, Tracey. As the mom of a child with autism and a typical child, I feel hugged by this post. It is truly difficult to constantly put myself aside. (Hence my lack of posts about special needs this summer. I don’t get much time to write when she’s not in school.)
Thanks for the reminder. 🙂
Thank you for this! I was a very selfless mother for the first 4 years of motherhood, then let my selfishness kick in for a month. Thinking that I needed more time to myself, needed to do other things that made me happy, etc. Turns out I become even more miserable with life and actually became depressed for the first time in my life. Now that I have turned back to God to fulfill what I was lacking, I am learning contentment. Of course it is a daily walk, but my focus Is back where it should be God first, then my children’s needs!