I Am Not a Grace-Filled Woman
Every day when I wake up I am reminded of the undeserved grace that God has shown me, and the fact that the only reason I can face each morning without condemnation is because of His Son’s death on the cross. God’s grace gives me the hope and strength I need to breathe for another day.
I have been shown grace!
Personally, I have experienced times when someone has not extended any grace to me. None. When that has happened it has stirred up within me the desire to show grace to others. I have felt, at times, as though I have learned the grace lesson and that somehow I now possess grace. But if I am going to be honest, most of the time there is not one ounce of grace in my heart!
I am not a grace-filled woman!
Oh, I may know in theory what grace is and what my attitude towards others should be, but it’s not who I am naturally. I may desire to be grace filled towards others, but when the pressure is on and something happens to really challenge me, I see that much of it is just head knowledge.
Stay away! You have been warned!
If a person does something they shouldn’t, disagrees with me, irritates me, or is rude to me, the first response in my heart is usually irritation or anger. I mentally roll my eyes and let out a huge sigh. Normally, the first thing I want to say is “Oh brother!” or “Get a grip!” Yep. That’s me. Now you know.
The reality is that I will never really perfectly be all I should be, because my sin nature is doing all it can to take over and suffocate any ounce of grace that may be present. I am learning that I need to choose, minute by minute as I interact with people, what I know my response should be. I wonder if it will ever be an automatic response.
I am learning that only God can infuse grace into my responses to others, one circumstance at a time. Because I am a sinner it will never be a natural part of who I am. It will always be a choice I have to make and will only be able to be made with the help and strength of God. The only one who fully possesses the reality of grace is God.
I will never be a “grace filled” woman, but I can:
• Bring thoughts captive and draw from the strength God gives me.
• Depend on God to fill me with His love and grace as I need it, and then I can respond to others in a grace filled manner.
• Allow God to help turn the irritation and anger in my heart to love and patience.
• Allow God to help me stop mentally rolling my eyes, and fill my heart with such compassion that my eyes fill with tears and I genuinely weep with those who weep.
• Allow God to turn my huge sigh of frustration to a whispered prayer.
• Allow God to change my thoughts of “Oh brother!” or “Get a grip!” to, “How can I help?” I can grip their arm and squeeze it and tell them I love them no matter what.
• I can walk with others instead of turning my back on them.
• I can be an example of grace to my children, by showing others grace. In doing that I am pointing them to God. This is just another area of life in which I need to lean hard on Him. I am incredibly needy, and I can do nothing good apart form Christ. As I allow God to, He will pour out His grace and love through me. Only as I lean on Him will I be able to offer you HIS love and grace. It is something only He can give.
I am not a grace-filled woman, but I serve a grace-filled God and I desire that He work through me. If you see any evidence of grace in my life, it is only because of Him. He gets the glory. And that is how it is meant to be.