Professional Sleep Deprivation Specialists
Yeah…so…I’ve NEVER had children that go to bed beautifully. You know that whole thing about sleep like a baby? Doesn’t happen at my house. Not one person at my house sleeps like a baby or any other creature that supposedly sleeps well.
Seriously why can’t children just GO TO BED??? They either don’t go to bed easily or they wake up in the middle of the night or they wake up WAY too early! Does no one in my family require sleep but me?
I believe my children have some sort of pact. They meet while I’m making lunches to plan that night’s strategy.
‘OK whose turn is it to be incredibly difficult at bedtime?” asks the teenage son.
“We have this! We’ve mastered the 2 hour bedtime ritual,” spoken confidently by the preschoolers.
“What’s your plan?”
“Same as always. First, get as much water on the bathroom floor as possible. Then pull about 3 large towels into the tub and get into a fight complete with hair pulling and screaming,” shared preschooler A.
“Then we’ll cry because we can’t find the right pj pants, followed by requests for bananas, drinks of water, and extra prayers. There will definitely be fighting over whose bed Mommy sits next to first, and maybe even a complete hysterical meltdown just for the heck of it,” pronounced Preschooler B.
“Sounds good. Who has the late night wake-up covered?”
“I got it. I’ve watched enough creepy cartoons to give me nightmares. I’ll be going in about 1:00 am – right about when she finally falls into a deep sleep. I’m thinking I might wake her up again about 5 am so she can start her day earlier than planned,” the preteen responded with self-assurance.
“Awesome. Anything else?”
“Yeah. I think I’m gonna want to have a heart to heart at about 11:30 pm. Should mess up her bedtime pretty good,” declared the teenage daughter.
“Looks like everything is covered. Have a good night everyone!”
Yeah. My children are professional sleep deprivation specialists. The funny thing is I love those late night chats…and I don’t want anyone else to comfort my children in the middle of the night, and actually early mornings are pretty great once I get up – an extra hour or two allows me to get more done! That’s always a good way to start the day.
So, now if I could just get my preschoolers to fall asleep at bedtime things would be dandy. Thankfully, they are awfully cute and I do love them very much. I guess a little “extra” time with them at the end of the day is kind of precious – if it weren’t for all the fussing (me and them).
I know there will be a day when I’ll miss all the interruptions – as difficult as that is to believe. I suppose I’ve survived this long on 6 minutes of sleep a day, what’s another couple of years??