Remember the notes when you were a child?

Will you be my friend? Circle one: Yes or No

Ah, if only it were that simple now.

As a wife and mother, the majority of my energy and focus is on my family. My focus is there because I want it to be there. This is not a complaint; it is simply reality. Sure, there are times when I’d like to call a friend, go sit, have a cup of tea, and talk for an hour. But then I decide it would just be easier to finish the laundry, take a quick bath, and go to bed so I can be ready for tomorrow’s to-do list. It seems there is nothing left of me for developing friendships.

If you’ve been blessed to spend most of your adult life in one community, you have probably managed to form close enough friendships that maybe that phone call is easy for you to make, and you do step away from the busyness of home to spend time with friends.

In my case, when I was new to the community I live in, the long-standing relationships just were not there yet. Yeah, I have great relationships with friends where I used to live, but I longed for them in my new community. Thus my desire to send the “will you be my friend” note.

How does a grown woman make new friends?

Intentionally, that’s how! I recognized that I needed to make the effort to reach out and have a regularly scheduled time of togetherness … because togetherness breeds friendship. I have a few gals I formed a book club with, and we meet once a month for a meal and discussion of the book we read. I have someone to mentor who I meet with regularly, a friend who I lunch with every few weeks, and an accountability partner I meet with once every week. These relationships are blossoming because we make regular time for each other. Recently God placed another great gal in my path, and there’s a new friendship budding that we each are working to nurture!

Since I put some intentionality behind my desire of forming close relationships, it is finally happening. Sure, it takes time, but time is what God expects us to share with others as we form community and true fellowship.

Right now, I’m still in the shallow waters of these growing friendships, but by the time we get into the deep pools, I’ll have the right to make those last-minute phone calls.

What do you do to form friendships with other women in your community?