How DO You Do It? (Part 3 from a Mom of Quads)

Last Updated on June 14, 2018

Our daughter Libby (who is a twin) gave birth to quadruplets last fall. When they (one girl and three boys, all fraternal) were born, her oldest daughter, Grey, was not quite two. Suddenly this 31-year-old was the mother of five children under the age of two! Yes, life has changed forever!

Now that the quads have turned six months old, we asked Libby to share what life with quads is like with all of us by asking her to answer six questions others often ask. You can read Part 1 Here and Part 2 Here.

How do you and your husband ever find time together? How do you keep your marriage intact?

Honestly, it’s hard to get out alone. It can take three sitters! We’ve probably had five dates since they were born. But we have tried to keep each other as a priority. On weekends, we take turns in the mornings so each of us can have a break, and then we spend couple time together during afternoon naptime. The biggest thing has been that we are growing in learning new ways to help each other. We have to do this together. So if I sense he’s about to “lose it,” I tell him to go for a run or take a night off and go out with the guys. He does the same with me. Now we have to live what we used to talk about marriage-wise; we have no choice! But the blessing is that it’s taking us deeper. It’s refining our relationship. And we’re helping each other become the best at what we do now. This is almost more valuable than going out on a date. It’s real life. We have to keep talking constantly about how to love and protect one another, even in the middle of chaos.

What are some things you are learning from the Lord?

I’m not in control! God has purpose for everything. Life is easier when it’s what you expected or if it’s what makes sense. But it’s harder to see the purpose when it’s not expected. I have to remember that God is sovereign; He’s intentional. He has had this plan since I was born. He has been preparing me my whole life to do this. I’m learning to give grace to myself and McLean more. I can’t do everything or respond in the way I want to and neither can he. I’m learning to let go of wanting life to be what I want it to be like, especially in the little things. And I’m learning in deeper ways that it is faith and family that really matter.

What have been some funny things that have happened recently?

Some of the funniest things happen when we go on walks. If a car goes by, it often stops and reverses, and the driver stares in amazement! It’s not unusual for people to ask if they can take our picture! Just this week, a woman at a park came up to us and, pointing to the babies in their stroller, exclaimed, “Are those for real?” “Yes,” we replied. “We had quadruplets six months ago.”  “You mean you got three babies?”  “Well, actually we had four babies.”

Listening to Grey talk to the babies always makes us laugh. Recently we heard her say to one of the crying boys (in her little toddler voice), “You’ll be alright. Your bottle is coming soon.”

Watching them interact as their individual personalities become more evident is also hysterical.  We might see Fitz sucking on Yates’s hand or Mimi trying to climb over Mac. I’ve noticed that two of them are more laidback at meal time and two are greedy, so I feed a greedy one and a laidback one at the same time and watch them watching each other.

We try to laugh a lot. It’s easy to forget to do this when things get monotonous and exhausting. Having others visit who laugh at our household is a big help. We try to remember that this is a short season, and we don’t want to miss anything!

Susan Yates

Susan Yates has written thirteen books and has spoken nationally and internationally on the subject of marriage, parenting and women’s issues for many years. For 11 years she was a regular columnist on parenting for Today’s Christian Woman magazine. Susan is the mother of five and has 21 grandchildren, including a set of quads. She is devoted to sharing her wisdom and experience with moms and wives and is selflessly available to those in need. Susan has been a mom for 40 years, she and John have been married for 43 years.

Susan Alexander Yates