Last Updated on March 21, 2018
I can still remember where I was standing in my kitchen when I heard a wise woman declare over the radio airwaves that my husband could not read my mind. I was frustrated that he could not figure out that I was unhappy that day. My girlfriend instantly noticed during our conversation over the phone. So why didn’t my man care enough to ask? The wise woman’s explanation that he was divinely wired differently and did not posses mind-reading capabilities was revolutionary to me. If I want him to know what I want, am feeling, or need him to do, I need to verbalize it. Seriously, that bit of advice made me stop in my tracks that day.
But last week I found myself frustrated again that he wasn’t reading my mind to know what I needed in our relationship. My love language is “Words of Affirmation” (from Dr. Gary Chapman’s book “The Five Love Languages“). For me to feel love and appreciation, I need to have it verbalized. We had a discussion that ended up with me in tears (which is rare) and him frustrated, and all because of one little roadblock: my pride. I was too proud to remind him how he could show me love. I have to confess that it is easier to admit this to you than it was to him. It took me three days to explain to him that I need to hear his appreciation.
I pride myself in my self-sufficiency. I am an independent woman to a fault. But God created me to need my husband, to be a team, to complement each other. Having to admit to a “weakness” was humbling to me. But he was grateful to know how he could please me and encourage me. During a calm moment, we were able to discuss how each of us experiences love and satisfaction in our marriage. Needing my husband is not a weakness. It’s a divine design! Do you know your spouse’s love language?
Julia DesCarpentrie is passionate about orphan care, adoption and fostering. Payday loans online. She has been blessed to live out God’s call on her life in those areas through her work with The CALL (Children of Arkansas Loved for a Lifetime), a foster care church initiative encouraging more Christian families to foster children in need. Julia has been an advocate for the fatherless for 10 years, as both a volunteer and also serving with Hope for Orphans before her work with The CALL. She is also an active volunteer in the community and has served on several community boards. She continues to minister to other mothers and foster/adoptive families through writing and speaking with MomLife Today. Julia is the mom of five children entrusted to her care through birth, adoption and fostering. She and Branden have been married for 16 years.
You are a refreshment to know! I too have had many titles the number one is that of mommy.
thank you, Stephanie! So glad God put us next to each other on that panel 🙂