I can still remember where I was standing in my kitchen when I heard a wise woman declare over the radio airwaves that my husband could not read my mind. I was frustrated that he could not figure out that I was unhappy that day. My girlfriend instantly noticed during our conversation over the phone. So why didn’t my man care enough to ask? The wise woman’s explanation that he was divinely wired differently and did not posses mind-reading capabilities was revolutionary to me. If I want him to know what I want, am feeling, or need him to do, I need to verbalize it. Seriously, that bit of advice made me stop in my tracks that day.

But last week I found myself frustrated again that he wasn’t reading my mind to know what I needed in our relationship. My love language is “Words of Affirmation” (from Dr. Gary Chapman’s book “The Five Love Languages“). For me to feel love and appreciation, I need to have it verbalized. We had a discussion that ended up with me in tears (which is rare) and him frustrated, and all because of one little roadblock: my pride. I was too proud to remind him how he could show me love. I have to confess that it is easier to admit this to you than it was to him. It took me three days to explain to him that I need to hear his appreciation.

I pride myself in my self-sufficiency. I am an independent woman to a fault. But God created me to need my husband, to be a team, to complement each other. Having to admit to a “weakness” was humbling to me. But he was grateful to know how he could please me and encourage me. During a calm moment, we were able to discuss how each of us experiences love and satisfaction in our marriage. Needing my husband is not a weakness. It’s a divine design! Do you know your spouse’s love language?