Control Freak Mom
Is it really necessary for me to think I need to be in control of every aspect of my teenagers’ lives? No. Then why, ten minutes ago, did I “grill” the two of them and gripe and complain because they went to get ice cream before youth group instead of after like we had discussed prior to them leaving for the evening?
What is it with my need to control and my irrational irritation when things don’t unfold as I had anticipated?
They explained that there was extra time after dinner, and rather than sit around doing nothing, they went ahead and got ice cream. But in the heat of the discussion, I was emphasizing that I had suggested after, not before. Control Freak Mom in action!
It is perfectly reasonable that they determined that if they had waited until after, their other friends could not have gone. So in midstream, they altered the plan.
Argh! Why didn’t I just smile and say, “Great, I’m glad it worked out where you all could go!”
Please tell me I am not alone here! Do you ladies sometimes hear controlling utterings coming out of your mouth, and suddenly (or later) you want to engage the pause/delete feature?
I literally walked away, took some deep breaths, listened to God telling me I was blowing it, and attempted to regroup and salvage the conversation.
Thankfully, I have forgiving children who have learned sometimes Mom just loses her mind for a minute (or two, or ten, or … okay, enough), but usually she snaps out of it.
You’d think, with a few years of momlife under my belt and now that I have teens, I would have my controlling tendencies a bit more under control. But unfortunately, I don’t. I am thankful that God continues to tap me on the shoulder, throw a brick at me — whatever it takes — to snap me out of it!
Well, suffice it to say, I can now add another endearing name to my profile (or maybe not). Strangely, I feel somewhat proud – which is really bizarre. Maybe it’s because once, when my daughter declared that I was “overwhelmingly controlling,” Barbara Rainey actually said, “Oh, that’s a good one. Good for you!”
You see, a mom who has been there totally “gets it” and realizes that good parenting stems from many hours logged as a parent who blows it. I mean, you cannot expect to get the mothering thing perfect every day. So don’t beat yourself up.
And somehow, recognizing my mistakes, naming them, and staring right at them helps me overcome — or at least work to overcome — the MOMents of less-than-stellar parenting.
C’mon, spill it; where have you blown it this week? Start typing, girl, right there in the comment section. Help us all to know we are not alone!