Last Updated on March 20, 2018
Have you ever had one of those days where nothing goes right? How about hearing those thoughts and voices in your head that tell you you’re not good enough — not “mom” enough? Or do you feel that no matter how hard you try, life always careens out of your control?
It seems almost daily I experience some sort of doubt. I feel down when I look around my chaotic home. No matter how much time I spend cleaning up and cleaning out, the mess returns and brings along friends. And why can’t I get “up and at ‘em” like other moms? While I drag my kids to school, others around me run marathons, attend 5:30 a.m. boot camp, and get awarded volunteer-of-the-year. I’m having a good day if I can get Rachel to her special needs class on time and with her panties on; teeth brushing, hair combing, and wearing other wardrobe pieces are bonuses. Back when I dreamed of mothering, I never envisioned my most-used-mom phrase being, “Please put your panties back on.”
How about the budget-savvy moms who manage their groceries like a “Mommy MacGyver,” using only a rubber band and two coupons to purchase three buggies full of groceries, while I may appear next month on American Express’ most-beloved list for the four Hershey bars and frozen pizzas that seem to always cost me around $99.95?
I even worry that my blogging isn’t good enough!
Have you ever found yourself caught in the not-good-enough trap? It’s always there, waiting to consume and discourage us. Part of this problem lies in focus. Instead of focusing on the negatives, I should keep my eyes on grace. When God granted us grace through Jesus’ death, He didn’t say, “Well, I’ll give most of you grace except that Jennifer who can’t seem to balance a budget and keep her house clean.” Nor did He say, “You can’t be a good mom if you don’t serve five-course meals on bone china daily.” He didn’t even say anything about keeping my child’s panties on. No. He offered grace as a gift — to be imperfect and yet still beloved. I must refocus on Him, and let Him to show me how to parent. I must let the rest go.
If I can encourage you (and myself at the same time) in any way, dear sisters, it is to just be. Give yourself the same grace God granted you. No one is perfect except Jesus. And He doesn’t expect you to be a perfect mom, wife, or anything else. He just wants you to be. So, rest well and tell those negative thoughts and voices to go jump in the bottle of Pine Sol. You’ve got other things to be.
Take a minute to click on the picture above to open a larger version. Drink in the sunrise and just be for a moment before you rush on with your day.
Image Credit
Jennifer Dyer has an M.S. in Communications Disorders, which served her well in her professional career as a speech-language pathologist. Never did she imagine that her education and career were God’s way of preparing her to be a mom to her own daughter with autism. Today, she enjoys reaching out to other families who face similar diagnoses. As a cancer survivor, carpet-cleaning veteran, and originator of the “Messy House Ministry,” Jennifer feels blessed to share joy, peace, and humor with others facing life’s challenges. She is mom to two beautiful daughters and is thankful to be raising them, serving other families with unique needs, and using her gift of writing and speaking to minister to others. Jennifer is also the author of a youth fiction book series and is trusting God with His timing on publication. Jennifer has been a mom for 11 years. She and Brandon have been married for 13 years.
Jennifer, This post spoke to me especially today. THANK YOU for being transparent and not perfect. I need to know there are other moms like me who struggle to get everyone to the right place on time and literally cannot seem to ever get to the bottom of the laundry pile.
Blessings Sister Friend!
Jennifer – God just threw a brick at me, via your post! I've been beating myself up all morning for all the various ways I am failing as a mom and homemaker – my goodness we had corn dogs and fries for dinner last night because that was the easy thing to grab at the store! My bedroom looks like a bomb went off in it and my teen daughter and I are having "crazy cycle" issues, so all morning I've been seeing me = failure. Until I read your post! Thanks for a new perspective and the realization that I am part of a tribe of many…Moms who struggle daily and must keep their eyes focused on Him and allow grace to flow down! Thanks sweet Jennifer! (Maybe this comment is TMI – but it sure felt good to unload my junk…anyone else want to unload….I invite you to comment and unload freely! 🙂
Tracy and Katie and everyone else,
I'm glad to be able to share, and I'm so thankful I'm not sharing with a broken limb as I almost fell over the laundry I tossed down the stairs (my version of a laundry shoot!). You know what I wonder sometimes? If none of us are perfect, what are we worried about? :-). So, sisters, give thanks for your corn dogs and laundry piles! Smile when papers stick to your dining room tables–at least they're not on the floor, right? Give your kids a hug and spend some time with God instead of the dishes this morning!
Jenn
Come unto Me, all who are weary and heavy laden,
and I will give you rest.
Take My yoke upon you,
and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart;
and you shall find rest for your souls.
For My yoke is easy and My load is light"
Matthew 11:28-30
Trying to do too much —
That's not His intention for me.
My timing is off when I try to do it all at once
Instead of pacing myself and making a plan
Of when to do what
So what really should be done
Can actually get done
And not place unrealistic expectations on myself
Knowing absolutely in my heart that I cannot do it,
Knowing inside that certainly I myself am a failure.
All this doing, placing too much on my agenda,
Actually comes from fleshly pride
Which causes me to attempt to keep the Law
Which Law was given to show me that I can't,
That I am a failure and can NEVER please God
By my own good works,
Which are as stinky menstrual rags,
According to Him.
So first thing in the morning
As a free choice of my will,
I choose to get down on my knees (my flesh hates that)
Which humbles my self before Him
Making Him King today
Giving Him my permission
To live in one member of His body
On earth
Today.
This places my mind
And puts my day
On the road that leads upward unto life
And away from death. (Prov. 15:24)
In the right Kingdom
I can live today
By deliberately setting my mind on the spirit
Not defaulting to the flesh,
Thus by free choice of my will
I choose to
Make Jesus
King in my heart
Thus, since
I am made of the dust of the earth
And I walk by faith
Not by sight
Little me brings the Kingdom of God
To earth
One person at a time.
For God is spirit
And is the invisible God
And faith
Pleases Him.
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2Cor4…
I really needed this post today!!! I have four darlings ages 6, 4, 3 and 2. Needless to say, this morning has been one heck of a morning!! I lost my cool earlier with the two younger ones and am giving myself a time-out right now!! Thanks for this! It's putting things in a more positive perspective this morning!!
This post is so true & so easy to forget. I should print it & put it beside my computer as I need reminders of this often. I often think that I shouldn't feel overwhelmed because I only have 1 child & he's not really special needs. But I feel it too. If any of us understood how hard "mommying" would be, we would probably never have done it. And just think what we would have missed! Thanks for reminding us about that amazing Grace, sister. 🙂
Thanks for your candor, sisters. I just prayed for us all.
I hope you find rest and laughter today.
You have a way with words and using yourself as an example to help others. Truly a gift. I read some time back that when we are tempted to say, “Jesus, would you get that one for me.”
Wow, I could have written this post. I am CONSTANTLY criticizing myself and comparing myself to other moms. Why can’t I keep my house nice and clean like her? Why does it practically kill me to get everyone up, dressed and to school on time? I feel like crap because I never feel good enough. Then my little ones will blurt out of the blue “Your the bestest mommy in da world!” And my heart melts and I feel so blessed that they don’t seem to see my failings but instead see the good in me. I wish I could see me how they do. Your right, I must focus on the positives and put my faith into God to help me along this winding, bumpy road. Thank you for this post. I recently separated with my partner and feeling more uncertain then ever but this helped me feel much better.
Jodie, thanks for your honesty. I think almost all moms feel that way more than we admit. I love your point of seeing ourselves through the loving eyes of our kids. We should also look at ourselves through the loving viewpoint of Jesus. I pray for you during this rough time in your life that the arms of Jesus will hold you tight.