Confessions of an Angry Mom
Do you have an anger management problem? Don’t be too quick to answer … read on!
A few weeks ago, fellow blogger Janel laid it all right out there for us with her post, Mom, why are you mad all the time? and our readers appreciated that she understood their own battle with a raised voice brought on by anger. She encouraged us all to admit and strive to overcome through prayer. God can’t change what you don’t acknowledge.
If you are one of those moms who read that post thinking that it didn’t apply to you because you don’t yell at your children, I would challenge you to take a look at what you do happen to do when anger reaches its tipping point.
Perhaps like me, you feel because you are not a “yeller,” you are exempt from contemplating your own need for anger management. Ahem … allow me to set you straight there, sistah friend!
When my sweet, loving daughter, who had never really shown signs of anger management problems, had an “issue” with me at about age nine, imagine my despair when she shot me a look that just about melted my eyes.
My initial thoughts: “Who do you think you are, looking at me like that? You are in big trouble, young lady! Why would you do such a thing?”
My secondary thought, with my jaw dropped, conviction whispering in my ear and my left eyebrow arched: “She learned that look from me!”
Her normally sweet, soft brow was furrowed and tight, and her familiar, kind, bright shining eyes were cold and harsh. Who was this child glaring at me? At that moment … she was her mother’s daughter. And it was not a pretty sight.
Rather than punish her, we had a good long discussion about my inappropriate show of hostility, and we worked together to break her — and me — of the nasty habit. (Okay, I didn’t break the habit, but my angry face is no longer filled with wrath. Now it’s more like tight-lipped aggravation!) We actually chose a Scripture to memorize —and to this day, when anger surfaces, so do the words “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right…”.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
If you, too, “glare” at your children, thinking that by not yelling you are sparing them from having to deal with your anger, I’m here to tell you that assumption may come back to slap you right in your face — your drop-jawed face!
If you think a fierce look is a “safe” way to lash out and that it won’t cause any harm, I am here to tell you that is dead wrong.
The issue here is recognizing the anger you harbor, learning how it reveals itself in ugly ways and determine to deal with your anger without wounding your children, or passing on your wrong actions to them.
Realize, moms, if you ever ask yourself, “Why do my children _______________ when they get angry?” There’s a pretty good chance they are learning it from you!
What are you teaching them today?