Last Updated on March 20, 2018
“A friend loves at all times.”
If you’re like me, you’ve heard and read that quote more times than you can count. But what happens when differences cannot be resolved?
Several years ago, while teaching and mentoring a group of high school girls, I had to teach a lesson on friendship. While preparing, a person came to my mind, and I felt the need to take steps toward reconciliation. We’d had electronic words (sometimes the worst sort to have) over something that might have been solved with some good, solid communication skills. But the past remained in the past, and I could not change it. I shared my incident with the girls, and while together, we wrote letters of reconciliation or encouragement to a friend.
As I penned my letter to that friend (and felt the sting of humility), I wondered how it would be received. I didn’t know her address, but I had an old one of her parents, so I figured I would try that. The letter was short and simple, and I hope communicated my desire to accept fault in the incident. From what I remember, I might have written it a bit differently today, perhaps with more humility, but otherwise, it was a good effort.
I know my friend received the note because her mother wrote and told me she’d given it to her. But I never heard from her. I have no idea how she received my effort to make amends, but I cannot control her. The only thing I can control is my own heart and actions. As I’ve grown older—and hopefully wiser—I’ve decided that I prefer to keep a short account with people. Even if it means sometimes feeling a bit foolish when admitting I’m wrong, I always feel better afterward. Plus, I learned (again, the hard way) that a soft answer does turn away wrath.
Sadly, as I learned, not all things end well. We are, after all, people. And the problem with people is that they are human. The only person I can change is myself and the best I can do is pray to see others through the Lord’s eyes and to love others the way He does. Do I always? No, but I hope to grow in compassion more every day.
Jennifer Dyer has an M.S. in Communications Disorders, which served her well in her professional career as a speech-language pathologist. Never did she imagine that her education and career were God’s way of preparing her to be a mom to her own daughter with autism. Today, she enjoys reaching out to other families who face similar diagnoses. As a cancer survivor, carpet-cleaning veteran, and originator of the “Messy House Ministry,” Jennifer feels blessed to share joy, peace, and humor with others facing life’s challenges. She is mom to two beautiful daughters and is thankful to be raising them, serving other families with unique needs, and using her gift of writing and speaking to minister to others. Jennifer is also the author of a youth fiction book series and is trusting God with His timing on publication. Jennifer has been a mom for 11 years. She and Brandon have been married for 13 years.