My husband and I will soon celebrate 38 years of marriage. I still remember the day we met as though it was yesterday. We were introduced after our college spring concert. He was strong and handsome. In fact, he was just too good looking and manly to be real! It would take us another year to begin a relationship. We enjoyed long walks, hours on the phone talking about life and dreams, cheap but fun dates, and sharing stories about our family and friends. We were best friends. That young love was, and remains, solid. I call it “sweet love.”
A lot happened over the years with the raising of our four children, managing life and all it brings—diapers, potty training, car pools, PTA, recitals, ball games, graduations, college tuitions, weddings, etc. I must applaud my husband for being tenacious about not losing us. We had date night to talk about us and some vacations were spent without children. We cherished private moments alone when no children were allowed! It made sense: we started as two and would end as two. We guarded our relationship because we did not want to be strangers once the children left the home. We intentionally made the commitment that sweet love must stand.
I now understand that if you work on sweet love in the early years of marriage, it can stand the test of time. Keeping your marriage vows, unconditional love, and respect are key. A deep and abiding friendship between a couple is also necessary. The mere enjoyment of being together, talking for hours, laughing until your sides ache, and praying and reading together all help to age sweet love.
As we approach our golden years as a couple it’s good to remember us.
I believe you are absolutely correct that if attention (sweet love) is lavished on the life of the marriage, it will, most likely stand the test of time.
As a Wedding Vow Coach I believe there are two key elements to using vows as 'sweet candy.'
1. The couple writes their vows in shared conversation, talking about the dream they have for their life together by discussing important elements such as sex, money, children, careers, houses, cars, religion or spirituality, philanthropy, etc. The vows then the vehicle for what the couple promises to do to keep that dream alive.
2. After the ceremony the couple continues to revisit the vows. Every day, sometimes by themselves and other times together, until those vows, and the dream associated with them, becomes the life operating system of the couple.
I'll add a third element because I can see that your site has a very deep spiritual tone to it.
3. Prayer is important because it is about asking for help to do whatever it takes to keep the dream alive, and be open for ideas and experiences that deepen the commitment.
I help couples 'write down the dream' with my Ebook, The Secret Life of Wedding vows. http://www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com My blog helps couples 'live the dream.'
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda Bardes, The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
I am so proud of the man God gave me and so very thankful he is mine 🙂
He leaves a lot with the military but when he comes back it is always like we are on an extended honeymoon again. That's such a great feeling! The distance makes me really appreciate him and all the things he can do easy when he gets back home again!
Have a blessed week!