Being Together
We just returned from vacation and oh, the fun we had! A vacation dedicated strictly to my husband and myself—NO KIDS! It was beyond amazing! I am all about taking time for just Bryan and me to reconnect with one another on every level—spiritual, emotional and of course, physical. It just gives both of us time to enjoy being together without the distraction of the kids.
Many couples I have talked to do not agree with doing things without the kids (i.e. date night or vacation). I do not understand this way of thinking for two reasons. First, I deeply love my husband and selfishly want time with just him—to enjoy him and talk with him without interruptions. Secondly, I realize that when the kids leave home I will have to sit across the dinner table looking at either a stranger or the person that I took time to enjoy and pour into over the years. Many couples call it quits when the kids leave home, because they have allowed the kids to become the main focus and over time they drifted apart.
That makes me sad. See, I come from a divorced home and that is something that I never want my kids to experience. Bryan and I have made it a point to put God first, then each other, then the kids. Divorce is not an option. I choose to end the cycle of divorce in my family and begin a new legacy. Don’t get me wrong, our marriage has its ups and downs like every other marriage, but the difference is we choose to work through the downs together, no matter what.
My time away with Bryan was great! I encourage everyone to initiate time alone (without the kids) with your husbands and get back to the basics of your marriage and remember why you got married in the first place. You don’t have to go away or go out on a date (although you should really make an effort to do that as much as you can) but you can put the kids down early and enjoy a quiet evening at home. Many times Bryan will go get steaks and grill them while I put the kids to bed and when I am done we sit down to a nice dinner together. Whatever works for you and your schedule and budget.
When we got back we were able to meet the kids, feeling refreshed and full of energy. And of course they were full of energy too!
My husband and I once had a vacation to Hawaii without the kids. He was returning home after a 7 month deployment (He's a Marine) and their final port was Hawaii. I flew out and met him there for 3 days. We reconnected one on one and then when he made it the rest of the way home, he spent that time catching up with our children. It was the best reconnection our family has ever made after a deployment!!
We can't always afford date nights but we try and have a coffee date once a week on Saturdays at the local coffee shop. We sit and enjoy our latte's and such and catch up on everything going on in our lives. We love this time together!! Our children enjoy sleeping late and get their own breakfast when they get up… we spend the rest of the day doing family stuff but these few hours are all ours… I'm not sure we could live without them!
God bless,
Sallie
We have coffee dates too. Our best time is Sunday night. Our church doesn't have Sunday night services. We order Cafe misto or au lait at Starbucks (considerably cheaper than some other menu items, but I hear that some of Starbucks' prices are dropping).
Here is a challenge. How do you have those dates when your children are younger? We couldn't afford a sitter when we had four under eight years old. Perhaps that is why we stayed up late so many nights just to catch up with each other. I like Korie's steak date idea. I can remember fixing a really nice seafood dinner for my husband and me after our first child went to sleep and having him crash it. Maybe he smelled the shrimp in his sleep. Oh well, if at first you don't succeed, try and try again. It is so worth it.