I was recently reading a shared post on Facebook that was titled, “8 things that your boyfriend hates but will never tell you” or something close to that. The author went on to list the things that he felt were important in order for a woman to keep her man. One of the things had to do with who is in charge of the remote control.
This article, read and shared by many, was not humorous. It wasn’t witty or intended to build up. At the core of each thing shared was selfishness and it had been shared hundreds of times. If your boyfriend has secrets he’s not telling you—but he’s willing to talk to others about it who go on to write articles about your relationship issues—I hope you’ll be finding a new boyfriend before long.
But here are some things you may want to know if you are sick of the boyfriends coming and going and want to find a husband who stays until you die. These things are vital for a marriage that goes the distance. A marriage where neither party is looking to turn back. A marriage where security, trust, and energy fuel the relationship and both husband and wife enjoy spending quality time with one another. Each passing year brings more love and satisfaction in knowing that your spouse is your perfect match and you cannot fathom another person ever making you feel so confident and content.
These things are in no specific order:
1. It’s God’s money. (Not your money, my money, or our money. It’s all God’s and we are thankful for His provision.) Every dime, penny, nickel that comes in our home, no matter who brings it home, is God’s provision for our bills, gifting, giving, and saving. It never belonged to us anyway. How we spend it answers one question for us: Is God glorified in the way we are managing what He has entrusted to us? Does my home—what goes on in the light, darkness, where I drive my car, even the groceries I buy—honor God? When I give, does it honor God? What is my giving saying about God when I share the money He has graciously given to me?
2. We are family! (It’s not his family or your family.) When you marry, you marry your spouse’s family of origin. His mom becomes your mom, your dad becomes his dad and your children are grandchildren to both. You should care for, keep up with, invest in, and build a positive relationship with your spouse’s family on purpose.
3. Life includes better days, worse days, richer days, and poorer days—expect them throughout your marriage; anticipate them. When big things come up, good or bad, you can funnel them through this grid—better/worse, richer/poorer—and respond to them accordingly. Worse days, months, and years can only get better; better days will come and go. Riches are temporal; poorer days bring about humility and grace.
4. Always think the best of your spouse first! Don’t allow the negative, your past experience, or anger to be the first response to whatever your spouse may or may not do that causes you irritation or lets down your expectations.
5. Fight for good, honest conversation and laughter. (This is probably how your dating relationship started). When dating we couldn’t wait to talk to him and didn’t want to get off the phone. This is a great big part of the marriage relationship that ceases with time unless you fight for this to last throughout all your years together.
6. Pray. If you were individually praying people before marriage, fight to continue and grow your prayer life. When circumstances arise (better or worse…) you can go together and lay your worries and anxieties at the foot of the cross. Don’t make it a dreaded habit) but know that when you pray together for any concern you have, you have a prayer partner that shares the same bed. Make your personal prayer life consistent. Know that your prayer life is not dependent on your spouse. Pray as often as you can with and for each other.
7. His bed, his room, your bed, your room. They are one and the same. His house, your house; you can’t put someone out of a place that rightly belongs to him or her. Share and care for all the things that belong to both of you.
8. Commit to no broken promises. In other words, divorce is not an option!
Proverbs 18:22, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.”
You just finished reading the blog post 8 Things That Guarantee a Great Marriage by Robyn McKelvy. What’s next?
Think It Over – Listen to author and FamilyLife marriage getaway speaker Robyn McKelvy, along with her husband, Ray, explain why being a wife is a whole lot like being a cheerleader. A wife can’t stop cheering until the game is over, and the game isn’t over as long as she’s a wife.
Embrace It – Meditate on the Scripture passages in this article. What will you do to make your marriage great today?
Pass It On – Help others make their marriage great and share this post with your friends!