I’ve been struggling lately with this debilitating feeling that I’m doing it all wrong with this whole motherhood thing. I can’t seem to get a schedule in place, I’m grouchy in the mornings, I occasionally yell at my kids when my patience has worn thin, and I just can’t keep up with all the other super-moms around me (or on Pinterest, for that matter).
There are many days lately when I have felt like a failure of a mom. Days when I can’t even enjoy my children because I’m too wrapped up with all the things I’m doing wrong.
Through the counsel of others, I’ve learned a very important truth.
The love I have for my children is enough.
I don’t need to wear myself out trying to juggle a million balls in the air, all in the name of being a “good mom”.
There is no such thing as a perfect mother. Even if I’ve mastered all the discipline techniques, created a seamless schedule for myself and the children, and spent 4 consecutive hours on the floor playing with my kids…I’m still human, which means I am, and always will be, imperfect. My imperfections will find a way to weasel their way into my day, whether I like it or not.
So, what’s a mom to do?
- Accept the fact that we will never be perfect. Nor will our children, our husband, or our house.
- Ask God to give us the grace we need to be an example of love to our children.
- Stop comparing ourselves and competing with other moms.
- Learn to apologize to our children with humility when we make mistakes, and we will make mistakes, all. the. time.
You want to know my definition of a “good mom” these days? A good mom is someone who loves her kids fiercely and without abandon, as God first loved us. That’s it. No highfalutin birthday parties or intricate snacks for school. No perfect schedule or discipline technique. No beautifully-dressed and perfectly-behaved children who say “yes, Ma’am” whenever someone asks them a question. No exquisitely decorated nursery or fancy dinners on the table at 5:30 every night. A good mom isn’t someone who never loses her cool, but someone who loves her children enough to show them how to gracefully handle it when she does.
To be quite honest, there are a million ways that I stink at being a mother.
But there is one way that tells me I’m a great one: I love my kids with everything inside of me.
And I’m choosing to believe that my love is enough.
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” -1 Peter 4:8